Hope for depression and anxiety

Some of the nicest people have secrets.

We can paste on bright smiles each morning before leaving the house, only to discard them as we sink wearily each night.

For years, behind the smiles, I had a secret.  Depression.

Make no mistake; depressed people often try to keep it a secret. Desperately trying to “fake it until we make it.”  Stuck.

If you’re suffering today, I’ll spare you flowery quotes & cheery anecdotes. Y ou don’t want that right now. Depression and anxiety leave little room for fluff.

Depression makes it hard to tolerate good intentions from those around us. We want to lash out, bind their mouths.

Why? Because those words are nothing we haven’t tried to tell ourselves countless times.

A person drowning doesn’t want you calling well wishes from the boat. We need a tangible line thrown to us. We need help pulling us back above the water.

Is depression a side effect of anxiety?

Perhaps.

However, no one else can do the work for us.

We can take the tools we find, and utilize the help from those around us. But, putting up your dukes and fighting this ailment needs to come from inside.

It might be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Yet, I promise you this; God doesn’t leave us to tackle this alone.

When depression slams its fist into your brain, God will hold your arms up to fight back even as the muscles quiver with fatigue.

Depressed vs. depression

I began to feel the weight of depression in my teens. It was situational and undealt with. Not understanding the root causes, I wasn’t able to communicate the depth of this pain until decades later.

Time passed and I became a young mother. I adored my children, my husband.  I knew joy, true and deep joy, for the first time in my life.

And then, the crazy emotional pain became more severe.

My moods could swing from the highest euphoria to the sludge of despair. In a single moment. And I started learning to keep my secret.

In my world, young moms weren’t supposed to “feel” this way.

Depression threw me into the rough waters; guilt caused me to started sinking. Shame nearly drowned me.

How do people with depression behave?

Years of angst and medications followed. Frustrations at not being able to “outthink” this interloper.

As I became a Christian it worsened. In my lack of understanding who God was, I felt deep shame that I would be so blessed in my life, and somehow still feel like dying. Crying.

Lying.

Oh yes, lying. I never lie about anything EXCEPT my own pain. I believed people expected me to be happy…so, that is the facade I showed.

When I did share the depth of my pain, people were uncomfortable. Unqualified to help.

Frankly, depressed people can make others nervous.

“What is WRONG with me?” I cried out. I begged God to show me a new way. And He did.

The life and lie of those hiding depression:

• We lie to each other. It is ok to say “I’m NOT fine.
• We live in denial. It is uncomfortable to admit we are depressed, so we don’t
• Isolation becomes a problem. We want to hide; dealing with the world while feeling helpless to deal with ourselves feels impossible
• The pressing feeling of failure looms over us causing “worst _____ ever” syndrome (worst mother, wife, friend, daughter, etc.)
• The cycle goes round and round

These might be some of the natural tendencies when we are depressed. Putting walls up helps us believe that we are protecting others. Protecting ourselves. And that is so sad, because the foundation of those walls are built on the lies that we are not worth helping.

That somehow, we should be able to do it all ourselves.

Says who? Really...consider how emotionally healthy anyone is who teaches you that suffering alone will somehow fix things?

However, there’s good news. Our God doesn’t need us to pretend. We can come full force with our questions, our rage, and our suffering. He can take it all.

I am grateful the Bible isn’t filled with fluffy stories.  It contains accounts of the worst suffering and God’s comfort for His people. And best of all? Hope for the weary.

 

A Scripture prayer to fight against depression

Let me give you an example of how we can use Scripture to force thoughts back from the darkness to the Light.

Take the verse Philippians 4:8.  We can personalize the verse to unleash the power of Scripture to help us:

“Finally, brothers and sisters (insert Your Name here.),

Whatever is true, (I might make mistakes, but I keep trying. God, I know you forgive me for all things.)

Whatever is noble, (I am a child of the King.)

Whatever is right, (Jesus walks with me through ALL things, I am not alone.)

Whatever is pure, (I have so much to offer.)

Whatever is lovely, (Recognize the beauty around you. Don’t skip this part!)

Whatever is admirable (God is creating something amazing and through my pain. There is purpose in my suffering.)

If anything is excellent or praiseworthy (There is hope in all situations.)

Think about such things. (Refuse to focus on the negative. Come back to what is true, right.)

God provides expert navigation through the fog of depression. (you can print a free pdf here)

Finding our way through depression and anxiety

The road will be bumpy. We may stumble, often. Anticipate that, and extend yourself grace.

It is a process and thankfully, I have gone from clinical depression to a place in life where I am free from antidepressants. Full of authentic joy and assurance.

Through trial and error and practice to recognize the feelings of depression and STOP: stop to analyze what is going on and take preventive measures to protect my mind.

Though countless hard things have hit me, my family, my marriage, my children since I was that young woman? Going through the fog and learning to institute tools has acted like guard rails on a highway. They alert us when we are drifting.

Those tools will give strength for the future as well as comfort for the present. Freedom doesn’t always mean we’ll never suffer, but it does mean that we can refuse to ever give up.

There is hope for you too my friend. Whether your sorrow is situational, deep-seated or entirely confusing… please, begin the road to getting help and answers. I found hope and you can too. Don’t give up!

He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.  Psalm 147:3

This is just one person’s story. Please, please, don’t keep your story to yourself. Ask for help, people want to help you. Don’t believe the lie that no one cares.

You are not alone ♥. God sees you and He loves you so tenderly.  

There is only shame in the shadows. Be brave and walk into the light.

One step at a time.

Need more encouragement? See this post for practical ideas.