10 Things you need to Know About The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

10 Things you need to Know About The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

The first inklings that I was different became apparent to me as a small girl.  Of course, a child can’t put into words, nor even understand their inner workings. But these formative years hinted at what life would be like as a highly sensitive person… misunderstood.

Extraordinarily sensitive, constantly assessing, quietly observing, and absorbing things that weren’t mine to carry. Those are hallmark calling cards of an HSP.

Highly sensitive people (HSP) are finally coming out into the open and sharing what makes them tick in a very public setting, the internet.  Their courage inspires me because frankly, it is really scary to be transparent about the very things that others often used against you.

Stop being so sensitive.

Suck it up.

Why can’t you just let it go?

Ugh, you are so emotional (as if that is a negative trait)

Who cares about that?

Quit whining.

You can see the conflict for a child who grows up being feeling everything extra strong. A “more” child.   It starts to make a person think there is something “wrong” with them. Why aren’t they like everyone else? Why ARE we so emotional?

It wasn’t anyone’s fault, people just didn’t know yet…

The highly sensitive person has a lot to offer

Highly Sensitive People Are Misunderstood.

Do you love someone like this? Let’s clarify a few things about HSP to help see them with fresh eyes…

Highly sensitive people are not the same as emotionally needy, whiny, complainers. They are not victims and aren’t looking for attention. 

We all know people like that, but there are key differences. Victims are focused on themselves, HSPs are often focused on others.

Whiners want all the attention, HSPs don’t.

Complainers want to vent, HSPs want to fix (although it might not sound that way coming out, we’re probably just externally processing. BUT we are looking to be a solution, to find a solution).

So why tell you all of this? Because chances are you fall into one of a few camps. You ARE a Highly Sensitive Person and are astounded to know you aren’t the only one, aren’t abnormal, and that your curse is actually a gift.

Or, you love someone who is an HSP and would like to better understand these complex and amazing humans.  (you can find an HSP test here) So let’s dive in!

highly sensitive person traits

1. The feelings are really that intense- HSPs don’t get to choose how strong their emotions are, if they could? They would. They are fighting an internal battle to discern if their feelings are accurate, or flawed. HSPs feel things with WILD depth. Good and bad
2. More downtime is required- Similar to introverts (though HSP could be any combo of extro/intro) we can get tapped out quicker than some. Don’t take it personally.  A weekend away with the girls? Whoohoo, we might think. Until 8 pm. Then, we are d.o.n.e.  It just means HSP’s need to recharge quietly, their emotions have been on high alert (even in great times) and often even unnoticeable to them, but...they still need quiet to be able to cope tomorrow. Our brains fight to EVER stop thinking. Time to decompress allows us to be all in with full enthusiasm again
3. Feel free to be more vulnerable, we see through you anyway-  I almost hesitate to share this one but feel it is important.  HSP’s see through deception, even if it isn’t meant to harm anyone. We struggle sometimes to learn to temper this sensitivity; not making you feel too exposed, but letting you know that we really know when you are not okay. To let you have your own time to process. And if something is meant to scam us? We probably aren’t your best target audience, ha!
4. HSP’s fight to not absorb your mood–  When people around us are grumpy, abusive, or just plain jerks? We are like “wonder twin powers, activate—form of, a protective barrier!” If you treat us poorly with your mood? We’ll forgive you, but give us a minute.  You might shake it off quickly, but remember that is has perhaps jumped onto us, like an uninvited virus, and we need a minute too
5. Empathy is one thing, living as an Empath? Whew– HSP’s battle to let go of things that they can’t “fix”, but it is hard. We know, logically, that is not our burden, but because we love so deeply? We struggle. If you have a deep burden, an addiction, a loss?  We are trying to love you through it without drowning under it, for our struggle to grasp that we can not, nor should we try, to be responsible to make things better for people
6. We absorb the energy of others– Speaking to the last point, since you know now that we feel things strongly, what isn’t often talked about is how we feel the people around us. Even strangers. To say, for example, that I am highly attuned to others is an understatement. When I walk by people, sometimes I can just “feel” them. While I can’t explain this, I can tell you that it freaks me out. This is the life of an HSP. We feel not only our own stuff, but many, many other peoples too. Even when it is unwanted, we still receive it as input
7. HSP’s don’t just feel and forget, period. This is a mixed blessing. While it can be devastating to “feel” the pain of strangers walking by, as well as people I know and love? It is that same perception that helps us to love you well. And for that alone? We’d probably gladly accept this package.
8. The “gut” guides- When an HSP tells you they trust their gut about something?  They are often spot on. Because they are so highly attuned to their surroundings and feelings, they might be more apt to trust that nagging feeling in their gut. Strongly. It has been proven trustworthy to them and they can’t shake it off
9. Overwhelm is a big deal- We might not enjoy large crowds, loud experiences (remember, everything is “more” to us, like sound) or other events that might feel stressful. It doesn’t mean we don’t want to enjoy them with you, but please…don’t mock us for needing to step back. We aren’t crazy/nuts/weird/too sensitive. We just absorb the world around us in high def, all the time, and can become very anxious without a cushion of peace
10. Highly sensitive people are amazing- These unique characteristics are a gift to you if you are willing to take a step back and observe. HSP’s are loyal to a fault, compassionate, generous, selfless, tenacious for the underdog, highly imaginative, enthusiastic, and funny. Really funny

The Gift of a Highly Sensitive Person

Still with me? Good. I hope these characteristics help you understand the HSP you love,

If this is you? Dear friend, know you are not the only one, not by a long shot! Never be ashamed to be sensitive! You are a wonderful gift to the world, embrace the person you ARE.

Listen, to be honest, I have learned to completely live in awe of who God created me to be. He created us all differently for a reason...to be part of His body, His work. 1 Thessalonians 5:12 reminds us, “Do not quench the Spirit”.

In other words, be you so He can be Him.

While I work hard to use these unique mannerisms for good! Sometimes I still need to be talked off the ledge (external processor anyone?)  Unfortunately, HSP’s have terrible poker faces too…

A dear longtime friend of mine sweetly reminds me from time to time, “Christa, you are a feeler. I know this must be devastating because of that. And remember though, these deep feelings? They are the same thing that make you so wonderful, that make you feel those same deep feelings of joy and love that make the world a better place.”

She is pretty awesome, isn’t she? If you love someone with HSP, you know that we will sometimes make you exasperated because our temperament seems foreign to you. But you also know?

An HSP will help you see every beautiful cloud, be aware of every kindness, every lovely creation, every amazing thing she sees.

Because a Highly Sensitive Person experiences the world in full color? Vivid sound and glorious detail? You are in for a treat to know one. They are sometimes a little confusing, but if you’ll compromise and help them with their necessary boundaries?

You are in for an adventure with a life enthusiast. And it will be a delightful ride…buckle up.

P.S. Wonder how to you if you are a Highly Sensitive Person? Here is a quick quiz, although I bet you already know 😉 Check out a new favorite site I am really enjoying, Highly Sensitve Refuge

• The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You
• Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World

• Weighted Blanket 

• The Highly Sensitive Parent: Be Brilliant in Your Role, Even When the World Overwhelms You
• The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When The World Overwhelms Them

• Art Therapy Kit – 20+ Art Therapy Activities  to Soothe Anxiety

• Self-Care for Empaths: 100 Activities to Help You Relax, Recharge, and Rebalance Your Life
• Disclosure: I only recommend products I do/would use myself. These affiliate links add NO additional cost to you, and may earn me a tiny commission to help support this blog. Read full privacy policy here.