12 life experiences that taught a lesson

12 life experiences that taught a lesson

There is an old adage that says we cannot give what we don’t have; that we can’t pour out of an empty cup. That doesn’t stop us from trying.

As we prepare to wrap up another year, I wanted to share a bit of what I’ve learned during the recent calendar of changes. These things were all inspired by the wisdom of others. Friends who will inspire you too as you reflect upon 2019.

Seasons are about much more than the coming of snow or the blooming of flowers. They represent life and our own human struggles to do better, to become, to let go.

 Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
― Søren Kierkegaard

As this year passes, the seasons of being the kind of friend I wanted to be have been too sparse. But my friends, thankfully, have been generous. Some years we are able to give abundantly, and other years we need to receive. Without shame or rejection of the gifts of others. I still need to work on that, do you?

It doesn’t come naturally, this posture of accepting, though it really should. We use our gifts to help each other, after all, and the refilling of our cups often comes from the love of those around us. People we know well. Strangers who leave a kind word on a social account. Passersby who see who we really are and offer us a broader, more generous smile on the low days.

This season, let me share with you the lessons I’ve learned from people who just were going about their lives, who were never trying to teach…but their lives spoke clearly:

Lessons learned through experience

1. We have value in 100 ways we don’t see. Let’s stop belittling our efforts and amplifying our flaws. All of us, right now, are blessings to the world around us. Even when we suffer, even if we stumble. We matter greatly to those who love us
2. Let go of the things you have no control over and get back up. One of my childhood friends and I often chuckle about my dad’s famous saying, “it is what it is”. Now though, we understand the priceless wisdom contained in those simple words. Wallowing in self-pity is a futile exercise. The feeling isn’t wrong, feelings are just that… how we feel. We do, however, have the choice to rise again and keep going in spite of our challenges
3. Our identity is not what we do, but who God says we are. How often do we lament over perceived failures in our lives? In our roles as mothers, wives, teachers, writers, etc. We forget to ask ourselves, “says who”?  The Bible tells us that we are special, created for the story we are living, important to God’s plan. In fact, the Word tells us we are enough, because of Jesus. All the other roles we play are secondary to being daughters of the King. What if we dwelled on that instead?
4. Faith that things will get better takes hard work, but in time we’ll have a rich story to tell of a story redeemed. Don’t beat yourself up if you struggle to believe things will be restored. That our troubles are not forever. So what if you have to be reminded again and again? The greatest teachers in history demonstrate that faith can be painful to hold on to. Questioning isn’t bad- in fact, it can be a powerful tool to really see the answers clearly as our story changes. Those struggles to believe turn into beautifully penned testimonies because we paid attention
5. We are meant to be there for each other, and that means letting the walls come down and asking for help. Oh friends, this is a hard one, isn’t it? We tend to think we have no walls, yet politely decline any offers of assistance. Often, this isn’t purposeful, we are just blinded to our habits of not wanted to burden anyone. Puh-lease, can we move past this together? We all want to help each other, and it is a gift to the ones watching our hurts to be able to come along. They benefit too, let’s not cheat them or ourselves
6. Don’t own what isn’t yours to carry. What is our God-given responsibility in a situation…anything else, take it to God in prayer
7. There is always something to be thankful for. I believe the world if FULL of good and beauty, and cultivating gratitude is a strong reminder that we have much to celebrate. Consider Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts, where she teaches us to keep a list where we record even the smallest gifts. What a simple and mighty weapon against disappointment! “Reflect upon your present blessings — of which every man has many — not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” ― Charles Dickens
8. Hard things are important to go through. We don’t become stronger without trials testing us and forcing us to flex our trust muscles. The things that are challenging have their own merit, and that is important
9. People might let us down. But they don’t have the power to crush us. There are those who cause only pain…yet, what they meant for evil God can turn for good. We can choose to not let people have that kind of power over us and release them from our journey. Other people’s baggage no longer needs to direct our actions. We are free…which leads me to my next lesson learned…
10. Boundaries are healthy. If you struggle to maintain them, invest in their development. Don’t feel guilty about setting them!
11. Nothing is our control. Planning is wise, but the outcome isn’t always within our grasp. Hold on loosely, flexibility is a powerful tool
12. Tomorrow is a new day. The sun always rises again and the clouds will part. I remember a song from many years ago that went something like “he gives beauty for ashes, strength for fears…gladness for mourning, peace for despair”. It is true my friends, don’t give up

What can you learn from life experiences?

You have known countless experiences over the past year- great joys and internal conflict. They both have value when we mine for the lessons in our extraordinary, wild ride of a life.

In the mundane, we find stunning beauty when we stop to inspect closely.

In the heartache, we see that struggle offers us a training ground that leaves us with a greater strength to get back up.

It is important to mine our moments and decide what to take with us as we say consider our days.

This year has been intense in our home.

Suffice it to say, I have struggled, just like you I imagine, to learn these lessons and to keep pressing on. My writing has suffered, my art has been neglected, and few goals have been met.

In spite of those things, our story is shifting again. The year is ending with a fresh page and a new story to be written. Beauty for ashes.

Reflecting has gives us something powerful…the understanding that seasons come and go, but with the help of our friends, we come out stronger on the other side.

Thank you for sticking by me this year, and in the new year, I have some AWESOME fresh things in the background. Dreams that are patiently waiting for their turn to become.

You are amazing, has anyone told you that lately? You are. I promise. Rest in being God’s daughter today. You are enough, right now. And so, so loved.

Resources you might enjoy:

• Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives   SO good
• Destination Simple: Everyday Rituals for a Slower Life
• Seeking Slow: Reclaim Moments of Calm in Your Day
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