3 traits of a successful marriage

Successful Marriage secrets: 3 tips from 30 years together

This guy? He makes my heart swell, every single day.

I know marriage is hard, that’s why I’m so passionate about writing and speaking about it. In 30 years we’ve certainly been through our shares of ups and downs.

Sometimes I wanted to give up. He didn’t meet my needs, I didn’t need his. But, there is a beautiful thing we don’t know about marriage at the altar…

I can honestly tell you though, the sweet spot on the other side of a long marriage?

It’s a million times more beautiful even than you’re wedding day. When we get married, we’re full of excitement and hope for the future.

We think we know what true love is, and we do… however, not in its fullness.

Not when you’ve had better, and plenty of worse. Not when you’ve had much more sickness than health.

“Marriage: Love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Til’ death do us part is the length.” -Fawn Weaver

What makes a successful marriage?

There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t thank God for this man, where I don’t tell him how much he means to me.

We are not the same people we were when we got married, those young starry-eyed kids.

We’re at a stage where I very much rely on my husband for help, for many things throughout the day. I often wonder if he wishes that he had a “normal” wife, maybe the one he used to have.

But here is the beauty of 30 years, the secret; we become so much more unselfish as every year goes by.

3 tips so a successful marriage

A long-lasting marriage showcases 3 important traits:

Trust– partners have each other’s best interest at heart and are a safe place emotionally
Humility– partners have learned that not everything has to be such a big deal. That “winning in marriage” equals losing for the couple overall
Grace- partners recognize that they, as well as their spouse WILL make mistakes. Forgiveness is the road to peace

And I’m grateful.

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers -Robert Quillen

Experts on romance say for a happy marriage there has to be more than a passionate love. For a lasting union, they insist, there must be a genuine liking for each other. Which, in my book, is a good definition for friendship.” – Marilyn Monroe

I know that some of you are in a very difficult place, maybe a choice was thrust upon you that you had no doing in. I’m lifting up a prayer for those of you with hurting hearts today.

If you’re in a good place? Celebrate, settle in and thrive in the gift of this irreplaceable gift.

Song of Solomon 3:4: I have found the one whom my soul loves

P.S. While I am clearly a big advocate for working out your marriage (I’ve seen amazing turnaround on the impossible-seeming situation!) that doesn’t mean this advice applies to ALL marriages. If you are married to someone who abuses you, whether physically, psychologically, or emotionally? Get help, and if you need to, please get out for your safety ♥