Manage Christmas expectations to avoid disappointment
Manage Christmas expectations to avoid disappointment
My husband and I had gone on a Christmas shopping date. The dusky sky was dark, the promise of snow heavy in the air. A romantic time with just us two for a whole evening.
A little extra cash padded our spare wallets for the first time in our adult life. It was going to be perfect!
Except, it was just nice.
Nothing was wrong, per se. I just have a lifelong struggle with high expectations.
I want a dreamy, movie set perfect experience when it comes to Christmas.
Instead, my husband was distracted. It made me frustrated. Not perfect, nor part of my fantasy evening. You know what I mean, don’t you?
Avoid unrealistic Christmas expectations
We cheat ourselves with unrealistic ideas. After spending all day preparing a fancy holiday meal, the family comes home (late) and tells us they already ate.
During carefully planned Advent readings, the kid’s eyes glaze over, and even as we try not to doze off.
Picking out a Christmas tree causes a fight with the kids over whose is the best.
We call the in-laws to invite them over, while mentally replaying last year’s disastrous dinner.
Our sister wants to bring her disgusting stuffing, even though we both know ours is better.
We shop with our spouse and ask them their opinion on gifts, and pretend to consider their input, even as we tell them all the reasons our idea is better.
The kids don’t need that, want that, like that…
But just maybe, they would?
When Christmas expectations set us up for gloom
We get too hung up on fantasies of Christmas. Currier and Ives’s paintings never had a mom stomping out of the room in anger.
Norman Rockwell never painted bratty children who destroyed the decorations.
Hey, based on the stories I hear from people? Most expectations rate a bit higher than reality.
If we want an awesome and memorable holiday, let’s ditch the preconceived ideas.
Let’s go with the moment and just enjoy it.
Let’s not work so hard to create memories that set our children up for being adults who also strive to achieve the impossible.
There is too much fun and joy to be had in the simple. The ordinary. The unplanned.
The giving of gifts is not something man invented. God started the giving spree when He gave a gift beyond words, the unspeakable gift of His Son– Robert Flatt
Managing expectations at Christmas matters
Jesus blew every idea about expectations out of the water.
If we want to find Him this Christmas, we just have to look in the quiet and beautiful moments of Good enough.
Because we aren’t, and that is why he came. To free us from unrealistic expectations.
So put away psycho Parent who’s trying to create movie set memories, and Just Get Quiet.
That is where the Merry of Christmas really is. Jesus Will be waiting there for us.
That is an expectation we CAN count on.
Manage your Christmas expectations:
- One of our favorite movies about Christmas expectations-Christmas With The Kranks
- God Hears Her, A Joyful Christmas: 31 Morning and Evening Devotions
- The Great Christmas Bowl
- Have Yourself a Minimalist Christmas: Slow Down, Save Money & Enjoy a More Intentional Holiday
- Our Christmas Story: A Modern Christmas Memory Book
- Everybody Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People
- Why the Nativity?: 25 Compelling Reasons We Celebrate the Birth of Jesus
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This post is such a blessing! I definitely struggle with these feelings, especially when my significant other does not understand my strange Stepford-wife-like need for picture-perfect Christmas moments. I think it’s so important to really remember that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ. The ONLY gift we truly need. 🙂
I always get so excited about Christmas.
I remember caring too much about part of the meal. That’s not me anymore, and I think my family is glad about that. And when you have grandchildren, Christmas becomes a wonder again through their little eyes.
Never had to cook for Christmas. My sister in law did. So I enjoyed the decorations and baking, caroling and quite time by the fireplace, and church services. Perfection at its best.
This year? Forget it. Taking it as it comes. Everyone will be lucky if I even bake some cookies.
Just kidding. I will do a few things and glaze a ham to take to my kid’s home for Xmas.
I asked the other day my 14 year old grandson what he wants for a gift. I couldn’t believe it when he said: Nothing, yiayia, i have everything I want.
Whew! You gave me some grace to let go of my expectations this year! Everything doesn’t have to be perfect at the expense of making my life stressful and feeling overwhelmed and crabby!
Yes!!! Enjoy the freedom of just enjoying instead of perfecting
Yes! I’m always getting myself in these situations because of my wild imagination. The thing that really gives me that fulfilled feeling is slowing down to be grateful. <3
Girl I HEAR you there. My life story 😉
I’m with you! I’ve let go of a lot of my expectations because keeping up is just pure exhausting with 4 kids. Great post!
I can imagine just normal everyday life would be busy, even before a holiday season! Keep working toward the moments, you’ve got this!
Thank you so much for this! I think during Christmas we all get so stressed about gift giving, family time, etc. that we all forget about what it really means.
Isn’t it amazing how easily we can forget that? So glad we can both have a goal now to work towards
I’ve never been able to put how I felt into words but this is exactly it! I always have high expectations for myself, my husband, and situations – up to and including dates with the hubby or the entirety of the Christmas season. When something doesn’t meet those perfect expectations, I miss out on the joy and the pure experience of it sans pressure or the silly thoughts that come to mind such as “you’re not supposed to say that, or do that,” I mean one time a dinner experience felt spoiled for me because we didn’t sit in a cozy booth with dim lighting but had to sit at a table next to a window. Stupid stuff like that steals joy! Thank you for this post; I am going to try to be more mindful of my expectations and live for the joy of the moment simply as it is.
Rachel, I am so proud of you! Clearly, I can totally relate having learned the hard way (hence, this article) ;). God bless you as you determine to enjoy the moments more this season
When we get rid of our expectations, everything will be so much better! It’s something I want to practice also, good reminder. Thanks!
I appreciate you visiting today Anne! Hope to see you here again, and bless you in your pursuit of an expectation-free holiday
Love this. Life is composed of imperfect moments. We have to learn to enjoy them.
Hi Brittany, indeed! If we didn’t have them, I’d have nothing to write about ;)…I’ve learned that imperfect is the best stance. We can truly stop and appreciate life without chasing perfection. The Christmas season is a perfect time to work on it. Bless you!
Just thought you should know that your post from 2014 about expectations is blessing me in 2019. I have been crying off and on for 24 hours because several of my dreams and expectations for the holidays aren’t happening. I have had my feelings hurt and this blog post reminded me to check my heart and lay my expectations at Jesus’ feet. Thank you!
Julie, that is the power of us sharing our stories and then getting to relive them again at other times with fresh eyes. God bless you in your acceptance vs. expectancy (so hard, I know!)
This made me laugh and be pensive at the same time. Life is so full of expectations when we really we should savour the moments of joy and calamity as well. Expectations can ruin the fun!
Hi Beverly! So sorry for the delay. Life 😉 Indeed, almost every time! Thanks for reading and have a blessed day