Dread family gatherings? 5 tips to manage anxiety and enjoy the holiday
Dread family gatherings? 5 tips to manage anxiety and enjoy the holiday
Not everyone looks forward to the holidays.
We imagine Norman Rockwell size dreams of family, while reality can look more like a Jerry Springer show.
So festively promoted, to some it’s a season of survival instead of celebration.
Our anticipation and expectations can cause even the closest family to bristle with hostility. And families that aren’t that close to begin with? Holidays can feel like the leastmerry time of the year.
The thing is…it might be them. The other people in your world. Or, it might be a little bit of us fueling the fire.
Is it normal to dread family gatherings?
Do you recognize any of these moments? Let’s talk about ways to diffuse the situation before it gets out of hand:
Replaying a conversation over and over in your head, getting more upset with each retelling. Perhaps even adding imaginary dialogue that hasn’t happened! Stop. Give them the benefit of the doubt and let’s not put words in people’s (imaginary) mouths.
Dreading family get-togethers so much, that your guard is up before even saying hello. Just in case. “But you don’t know what they_____. ” True, sometimes it helps to try and understand where the offender is coming from. Sometimes if things are that stressful, it might be better to skip the gathering.
Coming together with an expectation of someone being a jerk. People can change, maybe this was the year they are trying so hard and need a chance to be forgiven.
Taking the bait. Person “A” dangles a choice retort in front of you. They love to get your dander up. We all have those people in our lives. It’s so easy to take that bait, much more difficult to leave it hanging. And that leads me to…
How to handle anxiety at family gatherings
(when surrounded by difficult people…and how to not be one):
James 1:19My dear brothers (insert your name here____, I did) take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry
Psalm 34:14bSearch for peace, and work to maintain it
Proverbs 18:6A fool gets into constant fights. His mouth is his undoing! His words endanger him
Romans 12:18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone
Psalm 37:8Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper–it only leads to harm
This Christmas season, if your dynamics are difficult, please memorize one of the verses above. Put them on cards in your pocket or purse.
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This is a great post. So full of truth and very practical for helping us identity our own sin in the matter. Thank you!
Glad you found it useful, I just read a sermon where the pastor suggested: “we need fewer fingers and more thumbs”. So true!