A Hopeful Realist

(Join me in welcoming Mariann Strozier, a powerful, authentic and FUN woman of God…she is a rare jewel. I’ve asked her to share her perspective on community, as part of a two-week series because she has the gift of living her story, with a refreshing honesty. She and her sweet husband Paul, are invested champions of community)

There are many things I could tell you to reveal who I am, but none so revealing as the fact that I’m the surprise baby of my family.

My brother was 17 and my sister 12 when I showed up.  So, I have all the general characteristics of a baby/only.  It has taken some time to find myself and I’ve done every assessment in the book…yes, including the Facebook crazy ones!

But I’ve discovered that Hopeful Realist is the best descriptor for me.

See, I really do believe we were created to be in community with people.  And I really do believe it’s possible.  And I also believe it’s really, really hard.

Being in my late 50’s has some perks.  One of those perks is having a life to look back on.  I’ve been doing some of that lately because I’m approaching 59.  (I don’t like the 9’s, so I decided to try looking forward to this one.) In my looking back, I have found community all over the place.

FInding community as a realist

Looking back, I have found community all over the place.

In all, I can count 15 different church communities I have participated in.  In those 15 communities, I’ve received unconditional love and some pain.  I’ve offered to others unconditional love and some pain.

While I was part of each community I grew some, and I checked out some.   In my opinion, I would say it takes these things in order to experience community.

• A sense of safety and belonging
• A sense of learning and serving
• A sense of giving and receiving
• A sense of being a part of a greater whole

I haven’t only experienced community in churches.  Some of the most authentic community I have enjoyed has been in 12 step rooms.

Some of the most authentic community I have enjoyed has been in 12 step rooms.  Al-Anon and Nar-Anon groups have made a dramatic impact on my life.  And every characteristic from above, applies.

Hitting rock bottom makes a realist

Before our marriage hit bottom, we were experiencing the community offered in the world of sex, drugs and rock and roll.

 Can I be really honest here?  Those same characteristics were there, too.  There were fun times and nightmare moments.  But wherever you are, you are in.

Here’s the difference for me today.  Today I get to look back and see what matters.  (What has always mattered?)

During the 10 years we checked out and went our own way, we learned big lessons on the kind of community we wanted to be part of. 

It took 90 days of rehab to get us started, and many meetings and lots of counseling to help us walk, but by God’s grace, we started walking.

Church communities are sometimes as painful as any others, but they don’t have to be.  I’m a Hopeful Realist.

I believe if we all learn a little each day about following Jesus, eventually, we’ll find ourselves walking together.

Resources to encourage you:

• Starting Over: Your Life Beyond Regrets
• True Community
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