She stares at her children and wonders, did I do enough, will they have good memories, will they remember the fun over the disappointment, was I a good mom, did we ruin them with unavoidable painful experiences…and salty rivers snake down her cheeks. Uncertain.
Why waste so much time comparing, worrying, berating our efforts? The truth is, we don’t know what lessons our children will take away.
While we don’t know what lessons they’ll take away into adulthood, I know what “I” will...
We did enough. we did our best, and it was enough.
Our home provided joy, love, strength, and the best foundation of perseverance we were capable of. But we didn’t always know this. Many nights I wondered if I was the worst mother in the world.
How would you describe a wonderful life?
Our kids didn’t have everything they wanted but did have what they needed.
They had to know money didn’t grow on trees, budgets were necessary, sometimes parents blow it, search out fun where you are, homemade entertainment is amazing, saying goodbye is hard, saying hello can be scary, wants and needs aren’t the same things.
What we gave our kids, instead of everything we hoped to?
stable and safe home
unconditional love and encouragement
trust that we will never, ever stop fighting to protect them from evil and help them stand strong
work ethic and curiosity and determination
appreciation for simple pleasures
a lifetime of memories where their parents gave their best gift, time
Lessons from the life of George Bailey
I’ve been reorganizing decades worth of photo files on the computer. It has been momentarily tedious, and surprisingly cathartic! I am a mom who had doubts.
Not because of lack of effort, or love. But because life can be hard.
Six moves in six years, for example, challenged their small spirits in ways I wouldn’t have chosen. Financial hardships year after year limited our choices. Life, etc. etc. etc. It happens, and sometimes it wounds.
Remember Clarence the angel in the movie It’s a Wonderful Life?
He was sent to help George Bailey realize how impactful he was to the world around him. How no one’s life would be better without him. That he was surrounded by amazing blessings, even when life and opposition and broken dreams crushed in around him.
George Bailey wound up realizing that in spite of an imperfect life, it was a wonderful life after all.
Today I am George Bailey, my life is imperfect & flawed & humbling & wonderful.
This isn’t just relevant to parenting- it is about our feelings and expectations as a woman, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend…
Finding your own wonderful life as a family
As I go through each year of photos, countless remembrances flood my spirit. I am in awe of just how many blessings of new friends, memories made with family and fun adventures we have had!
Amazed not that they existed…
Instead, humbled, because even though I purposed to embrace my life and not miss the moments? Just like George, stepping back and away with some distance sheds new light on a life.
Seeing the moments and months and decade scroll by in a matter of days is a profound reminder of what we almost miss in the midst.
We are not natural revelers in the struggle. We don’t always thank God for our broken dreams. We can’t naturally see ahead and know that the current urgent isn’t the big picture.
Those pictures gave me many gifts, not the least of which is a valuable lesson we can all share.
Reminiscing through the years taught me something. today I became the best mother in the world…for these two children. (It is in the small print, we, YOU are the best mom for your children).
We are just right…because God says so. Even though we’ll lose our temper, our choices won’t be popular with the family, and we’ll just blow it.
So what…those are small moments in a huge picture of all that we did RIGHT!
A mom who shows up day after day is a blessing indeed. We are instrumental, flawed and exactly what our family needs. They don’t need perfect, they need us.
I’ll try to never again doubt what was or what will become. Most importantly, I gave all I could. Perfect?
Not at all, because we are humans raising humans, and there isn’t room for perfection there. It isn’t possible; consequently, we shouldn’t set our goals on an ever-changing moving mark of perfection.
Your turn- Do you get caught up in the woulda shoulda coulda mentality? What can you do differently this week? Please share this with someone else who could use encouragement today…thank you!
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It’s not always easy to see wonderful in imperfections especially if we are focused on those imperfections. It’ll take an awareness that God is in our lives to know with certainty that perhaps it’s ok to live with imperfections.
It’s not always easy to see wonderful in imperfections especially if we are focused on those imperfections. It’ll take an awareness that God is in our lives to know with certainty that perhaps it’s ok to live with imperfections.
You hit the nail on the head for sure! It hasn’t felt easy yet for me always either, bless you on your pursuit to embrace the lovely of imperfect~