An open letter to struggling moms

An open letter to struggling moms

Rain falls in dark, steady patterns against the window, cracked to let the smell of moist desert into the house. A rare treat this time of year.  It is a welcome comfort to the challenge of staring hardship in the face and determining to come through victorious.

Twinkly soft lights shine merrily down the stair banister. The porch lights festively sway in the slight breeze. Light finds a way to shine in the darkness.

These bulbs remind me of what is true, what is right and what potential the future holds.

When my husband lost his job last week, the shock became determination. We’ve walked  this road before. What used to feel like pure survival mode in our story has become softly intertwined with the beautiful practice of thriving. 

Not just surviving.

It is hard of course, to keep a smile and a cheerful heart of hope when we are facing the uncertain. The fearful challenges yet unknown to us. But after so many years, it is important to use this time to encourage you…the woman in the midst.

The one who doesn’t yet know that things will turn out okay in the end? Who doesn’t yet know that okay might turn out to be better than the before?

For the sweet women I know facing moves, upheavals, court battles, health scares, and countless other struggles? You are known, cared about, and loved. This day, this season is not the whole story. It is just a few knots on the bottom of a beautiful tapestry.

Not beautiful on their own, but integral to develop something of great beauty!

For a mom struggling with hard times

Dear Mama,

Oh, how change is hard for a family! There is no game face quite like a mom face.

Whether we want the responsibility or not, our countenance is a lighthouse in the storm for our family. How we respond to changes like moving, health challenges, job loss…it affects how our family reacts.

That is a lot of pressure, isn’t it? It is hard, no joke, but it also is a great honor. We have to gear ourselves up for facing the unknown ourselves, which is hard to do while also gearing up everyone around us. How do we do it?

If we consider a move, for example, there are many boxes surrounding us. They contain our belongings, and also our tenderest emotions. Our fears, Our excitement. Our community.

Moving requires us to take a careful inventory.

There are the boxes we don’t want to unpack. I’ve sat on a porch and literally hyperventilated with shock at my homes condition. Refusing to unpack my boxes and falling apart.

There are the boxes we keep, even when empty- unsure of when we’ll need them. When the next change is coming.

There are the boxes we need to let go of, the sentimental stuff that keeps up clinging to the past instead of embracing the future. Once, I carried a box for nearly 20 years before I got up the nerve to open it and face the contents. Those boxes are mighty heavy and not worth bringing along.

Then there the boxes we might want to hide behind, building up a wall around us. A false security gate from the new environment.

We can be fearful of change, but the truth is there is no such thing as permanent roots. We aren’t guaranteed things that are tangible, including our forever home. The perfect job. Stellar health. A photo perfect family. But, we do have God’s promise that he’ll never leave our side through it.

Psalm 112:7 “She confidently trusts the Lord to take care of her”

You will make it through this…

Struggling moms have shaky confidence

When we are afraid to move forward because we don’t know what is ahead? We can allow ourselves to spend some quiet time and acknowledge our feelings. It is more than okay to have a shaky confidence when our steps fall on unstable ground.

For years, when my husband called me from work my stomach filled with dread. It was never just to say hello. Moving would be imminent.

In a six-year span, we lived in 1…2…3…4…5…6 houses. And we had children. And that involved three house sales. And I have a painful chronic illness. And we homeschooled.

Yes, we were over moving. Big time.

Are you trying so hard mama? I get it

Constant starting and stopping of our lives took a drastic toll.

After the move to the coast, we moved north. Then back to the coast. Then back to the same city.  Whew, we were bone tired.

We had settled into a life that though it had challenges, where we wanted to stay forever. And we worked so very hard to make it happen. So hard.

When the call came that work was closing shop and offering us one remaining position 2,600 miles away (oh yes, in less than a month) we clearly were shocked.

Sort of choiceless. Jobs were getting hard to find and it would be risky and foolish to turn it down. Since that time, we’ve moved yet again. Now, without work, we are faced with a reality that roots here are uncertain as well.

Again is difficult, yes?   When the word passes across our lips it is seldom in celebration. Frequently again seems to be charged with a frenetic energy that defies peace.

I am here to tell you that peace can be found in ”agains”. It takes work. Determination. Refusal to lie down and quit.

And the pleasant surprise?  The sun rises again. The birds sing again. Laughter tickles our souls again.

Don’t fear again, tackle it. Define it in a fresh way to the best of our abilities. We have that choice.

Wake up tomorrow and consider the synonyms for again: afresh, additionally and furthermore.

Choose a new word and begin, again.

Resources for struggling moms I like:

• Midnight Mom Devotional: 365 Prayers to Put Your Momma Heart to Rest
• Find Peace: A 40-day Devotional Journey For Moms
• How to Keep House While Drowning: 31 days of compassionate help
• Not Just A Mom: The Extraordinary Worth of Motherhood & Homemaking 
• Fierce Faith: A Woman’s Guide to Fighting Fear, Wrestling Worry, and Overcoming Anxiety
• Memory-Making Mom: Building Traditions That Breathe Life Into Your Home
• The Good Enough Mom
• Guilt-Free Mommy: Insights and Tools to Overcome Mommy Guilt
• Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms: Simple Ways to Stress Less and Enjoy Your Family More
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