Feeling sad at Christmas? 12 simple ideas to help you find joy

Feeling sad at Christmas? 12 simple ideas to help you find joy

Commercials depict a happy family celebrating the holidays. The magazine ads show large groups of loved ones smiling and laughing. The moms smile knowingly, with supreme patience, at the kid’s antics.

Well, the truth is, every scene has a director. A script. A plan of action.

Real-life doesn’t always include those dreamily lit scenes. For you today? I want to you feel seen.

Safe here. To be real, to let your guard down.

I LOVE Christmas time. If there is a Norman Rockwell scene, I want to be in it! I’ve been fortunate to have many childhood memories that feel reminiscent of those emotions.

As a wife and mother, I’ve had countless joyful experiences with my beloved and our children. I treasure those days in my heart as some of my greatest gifts.

But…it was a hard pill to swallow (going to be really raw here) when the scenes are nothing like you hoped.

When your head is barely above water and you are emotionally drowning.  When there isn’t money for gifts, or the house is falling down around you, or your family is 1,000’s of miles away. When you don’t know anyone in a new place and you feel lonely.

I get it. You are not alone.

Why does Christmas make me sad?

Sometimes Christmas feels anything but merry.

One of the most difficult seasons I’ve had to learn to cope with is giving my kids the best memories possible...in spite of…whatever our circumstances were.

There have been some very hard ones. And I can tell you know that for most of them, in hindsight, the kids had no idea anything was hard!

We’ve been so blessed, truly. But for this girl? Being far from family on the holidays is as lonely as it gets.

Being surrounded by friends who have their families on the holidays, is lonelier still.  I’ve had my husband and precious girls for all these years with me. They keep me solid.

Why is it then, that when we are hurting we often feel that we must keep it private so that we won’t be slammed for not being grateful?

Is is ok to be sad at Christmas?

Listen, if you are a single parent and feeling overwhelmed? It doesn’t mean you aren’t over the moon about having Christmas with your child.

If you are on a mission around the globe, like my daughter is, it doesn’t mean she can’t miss home even while enjoying God’s world and their celebrations.

It doesn’t mean I’m not happy for her, while I cry not being with her.

Let’s please, please, agree to let our wall down.

Feel confident that it is perfectly normal, you are not a jerk, everyone doesn’t have it better...whatever the feelings are? Just feel them and then take a deep breath.

You don’t want to feel unhappy during holidays!

Here is where it gets a bit hard. I am going to walk through it with you though, I got you ♥

We can acknowledge our feelings, but then, just as the director stands back and coordinates the scenes?

We can stand up and put on a smile, adjust our director’s hat with a saucy tilt, and plan the scenes.

That is what this list is for. Our own tried and true moments to help make your Christmas merrier.

It is no easy thing to put a smile on your face when you feel tired or sick or alone. When a family is depending on you. And when you, more than anyone, WANT to make Christmas merry. For your own joy as well as that of others!

Christmas sadness will pass

If this season is hard for you? Please, remember seasons pass. They come and go. If this season is full of good things, you just need some ideas for making Christmas traditions that are “yours”?

Awesome! I am so thankful for your joy.

When our girls were small, we learned very quickly as parents that we truly did set the tone for our home. If we were excited, they were excited!

Sometimes, it felt hard or forced, from one parent to another.

During those times of being “stuck”.  Oh, but no regrets! None.

For they set the steps into their adulthood that they’ve walked along with anticipation and joy.

So here we are, our family of four, unable to go “home” for the third year in a row.  And this year?

I am taking my husband’s comment to heart from a few years ago… “Stop longing for where we aren’t and embrace where we are. Don’t call it “home”, this is your home. With me.”

Heck yeah! That is right where I want most to be, with this tiny gathering of my own peeps.

How to make Christmas feel stress free when sad

• Have a finger food buffet. It is fun to eat bite
  size treats and kids enjoy creating things in their “scale”. Let everyone pick
  one favorite
• Create a new family tradition recipe. Organize an
  event out of the family investment of time into “your” specialty. It is easy to
  add twists to recipes. For example, let your cinnamon rolls have craisins etc.
• Make gingerbread houses with a twist– let kids
  choose what unusual building materials they’d like to create their house with. Saltines,
  waffles, peanut butter, ramen…anything goes! We have a contest each year to see
  who can make the best wacky home
• Christmas eve service is something to get
  dressed for, and a place to be. Make it the BEST place
• Watch a favorite movie. We save It’s A
  Wonderful Life every year for late Christmas night on the years we can’t
  travel to be with family. Make it a weekly movie party with themes!
• Designate a board game that is for Christmas eve
  day. One member of our family loves Monopoly, which is lengthy, so we save it
  for this time. Our love gift for her…and we all now look forward to it!
• Make igloos out of sugar cubes, held together by
  royal icing. Kids can create villages with their favorite toy figurines
• Get physical! Set up obstacle courses to burn
  off some energy. One year our daughter made a Nerf gun challenge (think
  stacked red solo cups for target practice) for us. And both kids were in their
  teens! We all thought it was a blast
• Let kids choose minute to win it style games. They
  can create all the rules. They’ll be proud to show off their own creative ideas
• Make Christmas the time you drive around and
  look at lights. Pack up some cocoa in portable cups, or get a big cup for about
  $1 at gas stations. Bring upbeat music that everyone can sing along to. Loudly,
  badly, it is all for fun
• Create snack plates for neighbors and surprise
  them. Especially if you aren’t already friends, it’s a great opportunity to demonstrate
  to our kids how to be generous of spirit
• Senior homes love visitors for lonely residents.
  Make someone’s night by coming to spend an hour building a new relationship!

It really IS all about Jesus anyway. And he definitely sees each of us where we are.

He beckons, come…join me in making Christmas as merry as possible while we address your special needs.

The list will be hopefully a blessing in ALL of these circumstances.

Christmas Resources to encourage you:

• One of our favorite movies about Christmas expectations-Christmas With The Kranks
• God Hears Her, A Joyful Christmas: 31 Morning and Evening Devotions
• Why the Nativity? 25 Compelling Reasons We Celebrate the Birth of Jesus
• 365 Days of Prayer for Depression & Anxiety
• Have Yourself a Minimalist Christmas: Slow Down, Save Money & Enjoy a More Intentional Holiday
• Everybody Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People
• Fighting Words Devotional: 100 Days of Speaking Truth into the Darkness
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