Sometimes the loneliest place can be within our own relationships, our own homes. Please welcome Carmen from MarriedByHisGrace, as she really shares from the deepest story, her authentic story about a broken marriage…and the beautiful community she found that led to a restored life. God’s goodness in her life is a perfect wrap up to this two-week series on community, that wonderful writers have stepped in to guest post for me. I pray you’ve enjoyed their words, perhaps saw your own need in their story. Today, join me in the blessing of this final installation, while we reflect on the powerful impact of community.
Seven years ago I was experiencing one of the hardest times in my life. I was a mother of two, my then husband had just served me with divorce papers after leaving me for another woman which of whom he was expecting a child with.
I had just started a brand new job, I knew no one there and had to walk into my job every day not knowing if I was going to be able to keep the job or not because… where were my children supposed to go? Their father had a full-time job during the day and I was always the one who took care of them while he worked.
I was paying different babysitters weekly till I received my first bonus check because truth be told, my salary was not enough to pay daycare. It was my first time working in two years, and although the new job came with a lot of hopes to climb the ladder, I was the lowest paying Account Manager there.
A year before divorce took place in my marriage, I received the Lord as my savior. My ex-husband and I were going through a lot and I had seen many signs of separation coming about.
We can’t do it alone
After trying the past three years to keep the marriage positive and going I finally came to realize I could not do it by myself. I needed a higher power. I needed God to save my marriage and to save us from the destruction of ourselves and to each other.
Even though I had parents and siblings that emotionally supported me and loved me through it all, I still felt alone. I was missing out on friendships, godly counsel, mentorship, and peace within socializing.
All the friends I had before the divorce had so much to say about my marriage, but none of it was about forgiveness or healing appropriately. It was all advice that would eventually lead to even more destruction in my life and would spiral into my children’s lives.
I was going through something that left me with choices of either hardening my heart or choosing to forgive.
I was in a place where I needed guidance and encouragement of how to handle the strain of becoming a single mother and a divorced woman.
I was confined to a battle that was in my mind and it was trying to overtake. I needed someone that had once endured it all but was now strong enough to give me their testimony and offer wisdom.
I needed to know there was hope for change, repentance, forgiveness from our Father, and for revival within myself.
The one who would not forsake me
With all the emptiness I was feeling, I knew the only one that would not forsake me was the Lord. I made a deliberate decision to attend church more than just Sundays. Before then, I would try to make weekday bible studies if I could but that day I told myself, I was going to make this a priority. I also included prayer time and any volunteer event from the church onto the priority list.
Within months of attending church services and functions consistently, I began to feel my burdens being lifted. I even started to feel the overflow of it all. I was seeing how much I truly was blessed.
I still had hard days as the divorce trial proceeded, and walking into my home on weekends that my children were with their dad still brought pain, but it wasn’t hard to get out of bed anymore. I didn’t walk into work reminding myself to put a smile on my face and I wasn’t dreading another day of loneliness any longer.
Instead, my vision of God changed and my perspective of community within the church changed.
By attending the services and functions at church, I started to get in one accord with the body of Christ. My mind was no longer focused on being lonely as a wife, mother, and a woman without friends. My mind was becoming centered on Christ and how His people all hurt and have pain but if we could come together in unity, we are stronger, mightier, and healthier.
The value of sharing our story
Our testimonies to one another will encourage and uplift. Our prayers for one another will build up and restore. Our compassion for the ones in pain and mourning will allow us to weep in the presence of God for them so they are not alone.
From the deliberate decision I made to become more involved in the church the more I became part of the Church. I developed friendships that were centered by Christ love.
The church was built for community. God wants us to rejoice with one another and to come together as one in unity. He designed us to be members of one body.
There should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 1 Corinthians 12:25-27 NIV
Through experience I know sometimes we may think dealing with situations on our own is best and we shouldn’t bother anyone with our issues. Sometimes we can also receive lies from the devil that our issues are too embarrassing and shameful and that we shouldn’t be around others that have it better than us but remember it is a lie. No one is perfect and no one should be alone.
How do I find my community?
We are worthy of His presence and the presence of His people.
The testimonies I heard from ministers, pastors, and other congregants during my time of hardship is what uplifted me the most. I realized I was not alone. Others came through from a divorce, lacking income, and from being a single parent. Their testimonies of restoration and a heart of repentance gave me hope and insight to a new beginning for my life.
Without hearing those testimonies, I would have allowed myself to become defeated and possibly still in a place of unforgiveness. I would have seen myself as the only person to have endured the pain I once had to persevere through and that would not have been fair to my children or to myself.
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. Revelations 12:11 KJV
Find a community that is centered on Christ. A community that has a heart to rejoice with you, to encourage you, and to give you the truth from the word of God.
Be filled with His peace and love.
Carmen Brown is the creator of Married by His Grace blog. She actively writes to women who are desiring to build their home with the word of God. Her passions involve staying connected with her family, drinking an immense amount of coffee daily, and developing content that will help and encourage new Christian Bloggers. You can connect with Carmen on her blog,Instagram, andPinterest.
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