Family traditions matter- The power of Horseshoes and BBQ's

Family traditions matter- The power of Horseshoes and BBQ’s

Growing up, having a BBQ was so common, so part of our extended family dynamic, I assumed my life would always be full of them.

Summer is a celebratory time, but for me, a few days bring about an emotional struggle. The hot months are bookended by holiday weekends.

BBQ weekends.

To my husband and I, playing horseshoes and enjoying an afternoon of casual outdoor meals, was how we were raised.

People who are transplanted tend to miss the traditions of their homeland.

For us, that home-land tradition speaks of who we are, silly as that sounds.

Even our wedding reception included some end-of- the- evening horseshoes. The tuxes were ditched in favor of shorts and t-shirts. In my childhood backyard.

It was perfect…for us.

“In family relationships, love is really spelled T.I.M.E.” -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Family traditions form strong bonds

Those holiday weekends I referenced? They make me homesick. For childhood memories where Grandpa ruled the grill.

When laughter and trash talk between my husband and his siblings over their game skill. For the comforting ordinariness of my family and friends, gathered.

Before our family was scattered into the wind by time and circumstance.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was us. Who we were, and are.

What are fun family traditions for us?

We try and have at least one large BBQ a year. And we clean out the pits to tempt our friends into giving it a go. We tell our girls stories and keep inviting, no matter where we live.

So they’ll have those foundations of memories to hold close.

I called my Dad last night. He mentioned, as an aside, they were having a large BBQ on Saturday. His voice brought confirmation and longing.

These are my roots. The foundations that are unique to us.

It made me happy to imagine him and my mom, enjoying the company of friends.

A few years, ago my parents surprised me with a visit. I had (for years) told my mom this could never feel like a true “home” until Dad saw our house, we all had a BBQ, and played horseshoes together.

They came. We did.

It was perfect. For us.

Horseshoes & BBQ…our family tradition.

Favorite family traditions

And as hard as it feels to be so far away? It makes sense now, why these weekends are so difficult for me. Why a curved piece of metal and the smell of charcoal bring back strong emotions.

It isn’t that horseshoes are particularly exciting compared to other games. It is the memories attached to throwing them.

To hearing them clink. To the way my husband sticks his tongue out, slightly to the side as he concentrates.

These particular celebrations mean love to us. Life-giving, sustaining, a community of people who want nothing more than to hang out for an afternoon. To laugh and talk into the evening hours.

In a sense, they signify what was. What will be, perhaps?

I asked my husband for his perspective. He wisely said, “When we were growing up, it meant family. Friends who’d always been around. Most people here have family and we don’t. But as our kids grow up, we are at a stage of life that hopefully, they’ll be close enough, that they’ll come with their families. The traditions will continue”.

Ordinary family traditions give us roots

Those average, everyday moments we spend going about our days? They matter so much. They create the backdrop of the rest of our lives. It is powerful!

In the meantime, we’ll keep the pits kept up. Our BBQ ready for action. We’ll enjoy the friends who become increasingly like family as the years go by.

And 2,067.14 miles away? My dad will be doing the same thing.

And that makes me feel utter and complete joy.

How about you…what are the things that evoke these feelings for you?