How to not feel lonely-8 ideas to improve your mood

Home should be a warm and inviting place. A refuge. Yet, there are times when home might be the loneliest place, where you feel trapped and frustrated.

During those times we see our friends and neighbors laughing with their kids in the yard and we envy that lightheartedness.

We see the ones who seem to have it all together and we feel alone in our perceived weakness.

Perhaps a relationship within our walls steals every ounce of joy. A marriage that is gasping for breath, or a friendship that strains is dimming our hope.

Maybe our literal house is crumbling around us and we don’t have the resources to fix it. Our home feels like a cage.

Suffering has the ability to plant deep roots of gratitude.

I’ve known joy and struggle within our home.  It has made me stronger, more appreciative of the good.

Our comparable peace even in those times, develops greater empathy for those whose struggle is beyond our comprehension.

What are the main causes of loneliness?

There are many reasons, and what is important to remember? You are NOT alone in feeling this way. Just about everyone I know, regardless of their circumstance, has shared about feeling lonely even when not alone!

When our girls were small, we went through a few difficult seasons. Really, truly, crushing.

Split shifts of working for my husband and I (while he was going to school), small children, illness, distance, mental struggles and declining health, and home repairs far beyond our abilities to fix— all these things created a deep sense of loneliness in my spirit.

If you are in a season of struggle within your home, don’t give up. Fight to keep your joy. Fight hard.

“What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.” – Ellen Burstyn

How do you stop feeling lonely?

Go for a walk. Fresh air is an amazing balm to the spirit. Listen closely for the sounds of life around you. Breath deeply

Take the kids to a park. Hearing laughter and seeing them release energy takes the pressure off of feeling the need to “be more” for them. Let go

Browse the bookstore.  Pull an armful of things you wouldn’t normally read and spend some time perusing new ideas. Become curious

Turn off the T.V. Remember that it is called acting because it isn’t real. Temptation lurks, imagining the scenarios you see are somehow better than yours…it only leads to discontent. If the tube is on, choose shows that are interesting or educational or funny

Fight the urge to withdraw.  Loneliness seems to be a huge diving board into the pool of depression. Stay away from the edge by actively pursuing encounters with people. They don’t all have to be meaningful and deep, but depression makes us want to be alone. The opposite of fighting loneliness. If you struggle with depression, please get help (here is one place to start)

Focus on someone else. Use this time to alleviate the problems of someone else. Become a secret blessing champion. Send letters, make a meal, call someone who is struggling. It is a powerful thing to see how our shift in focus changes everything in our world. In addition, someone really, truly needs you today. Find one of them

Be purposeful to enjoy the everyday moments. Training the brain to find the joy in the ordinary helps to alleviate the seasons of feeling alone. The day is full of surprises

Speak life into yourself. A few years ago Ann Voskamp wrote a wildly popular book, One Thousand Gifts. It probably resonated with people because of her transparency, and the suggestion to keep a running list of things to be thankful for.  A powerful exercise. That list inspired me to write 1,000 words: a love letter to myself.

Lonely is a feeling not a defining factor

Don’t let words of comparison or criticism steal your moments, practice speaking positive things into yourself.

You are worth so much more than you might remember at this moment…

Most of all, please remember—these difficult times will pass.

Psalm 31:24  Be brave. Be strong. Don’t give up. Expect God to get here soon

Psalms 34:14b  …seek peace and pursue it

Resources to encourage:

• The Path of Loneliness

• Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely

• Fighting Words Devotional: 100 Days of Speaking Truth into the Darkness

•  Pamper Spa Gift Basket 

• Super Simple CBT: Six Skills to Improve Your Mood in Minutes

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