Fighting Despair With Chronic Pain
It is one of those days, where fear tries to grab my heart and shake loose my confidence. This year brought the news of us being effectively priced out of our previous insurance.
The reality of that came into full view today.
I have Fibromyalgia. And Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Surprised? Lots of people are. That is because I found a medicine that works fairly well.
However, I won’t be taking it any longer; the cost is supreme and would come at great cost to my family at large.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I want to keep it real here. We all have choices to make, don’t we?
How long can you live with chronic pain?
As long as it takes. ♥
My choice this week scares me. I know what it is to live without meds.
Fibromyalgia is something to fear. Physically. It is a life stealer. A joy sucker. A crippling reality that tried to destroy me.
“Sometimes I think I shouldn’t feel the way I do. When I start thinking this way I tell myself that feelings are neither good nor bad—they simply are. In the midst of intense negative feelings, whether fear, anger, depression, etc., it can feel as though they will last forever, like they will never end. It promotes emotional balance to maintain an awareness that all feelings are temporary, and that they always change.” —From Pain Recovery: How to Find Balance and Reduce Suffering from Chronic Pain
Imagine the sensation of having the body flu every day. Then, someone beats you with a baseball bat. Everywhere. Then, trying to crawl your way through quicksand.
Not just physically, but mentally as you stare at people you know well, temporarily wondering what their names are.
Now imagine that can be your life, every day. Every minute. Unpredictable. Lasting from three weeks to six months. Or maybe just two hours. That is living with fibromyalgia.
It can be depressing. It can feel isolating. Desolating.
I don’t want to fight depression. Or more pain. I have a life to live, people to love, a purpose to fulfill. I don’t want to be slowed down. But there is more to this story.
Galatians 6:9 promises “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
Don’t give up. I know you face hard days too.
Depression is a thief, and you are worth fighting for. So is your joy.
Can people with chronic pain be happy?
Biblical joy is so much more than a happy “feeling”.
It is a solid base, a connection with God that reminds us that He is greater than anything we face.
We don’t walk alone. When I struggle to keep above water, mentally, I think of Jesus- who was well acquainted with far greater suffering than I’ll ever know.
And He tells is this, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
I will keep learning those unforced rhythms of grace. This will not defeat me, no way. Regardless of this part of my life, I am incredibly fortunate. This will not defeat me.
Living with chronic illness and hope
There are blessings in the sufferings. A decade ago I couldn’t have imagined that to be true… but it is.
Be open to learning how your personal challenges can help someone else. Turn it around. It’s wonderful therapy. I can face every single day and think of countless ways I am fortunate.
Will you try and join me in that? The truth I know is this: when the fight is let go of, true rest arrives.
That rest is where our respite lies. That respite=life recovered.
Resources to encourage you
- Joy Bible Study for chronic illness sufferers was created by Vibrant Christian Living
- Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain and Illness
- Disclosure: I only recommend products I do/would use myself. This post may contain affiliate links that at NO additional cost to you, may earn me a small commission to help support this blog. Read full privacy policy here.
I love your honesty. Praying for you. Thank you for being real.
Being real is incredibly difficult and your courage is inspiring. Thank you for sharing-you are indeed in my prayers.
Beautifully said. I’m in the middle of the medical search for answers. I think I have a fibro diagnosis as of last month, but you probably know how that goes. Whatever it is (ditto on the pain and fatigue, but maybe not yet quite as severe as yours) I say, “Amen!” to the not giving up. I say, “Heck, yessss!” (a la Napoleon Dynamite) to knowing that living well under the Lord is so much more than just feeling good.
Keep on keepin’ on.
Lauren, I hope you find the help you need. Thanks for the smile! I would highly recommend this book to you FibroWHYalgia: Why Rebuilding the Ten Root Causes of Chronic Illness Restores Chronic Wellness [Paperback]
Susan E. Ingebretson
I will definitely join you in that. I have experienced so profoundly, so personally, how suffering molds you into your “true” self, refines you to become who God wants you to be. Suffering is awful, and it is a blessing, and I don’t know how that works, but it does.
Oh, Christa!!! My heart is breaking for you!! I know, much too well the fear you face & the burden you carry each and everyday. I also know…and you do, as well, that our Lord is the great Provider. In that we can have hope and assurance. He will provide a way through this, whether it is through the financing of the meds, or through a season without suffering while you can’t afford them. Or the strength and peace to persevere through this hard time with grace. I am so thankful that you know you are not alone. And I pray that you also know that your friends are holding you up in prayer.
Christa, I’m so glad that God’s name is Jehovah Jireh, which means the Lord WILL provide, not the Lord might provide. I am praying for you, that God will give you grace till he provides what you need. When our bodies don’t feel well, out thoughts seem to follow. I’m praying and asking God to give you that grace. I’ve tasted it and nothing tastes quite like it. No pat answers, just want you to know I’m praying.
Christa, I am praying for you right now. I appreciated Ann’s reminder of Jehovah Jireh, the LORD will provide!
Maybe you could contact the drug manufacturer directly and ask if they can provide your much needed meds at little or no cost.
I am so sorry to hear that you have to go off Lyrica. I am praying for you and will continue. As you know I deal with this on a daily basis having: Fibromyalgia, Epsteins-Barr Virus, and out of control Thyroid Disease. God is what has kept me going. I can’t take any of the meds because my body doesn’t tolerate it. I have learned a great lesson from the Lord on this and it has taken me so long to totally lean on him. I had to give up driving, my job, my husband left me, etc. As I look back now I realize it was in God’s plan. I am much happier. I have always been the “giver, helper, etc.” Now I have to depend upon people to help me and that not only blesses me but best of all – it blesses them. Thanks for sharing Christa. As always – love Pamela. 🙂
(((Pamela))) you are so thoughtful to share your story. I am sure someone special will be blessed. Good to hear you are doing better, truly
I am so sorry about this, Christa, and hope you find a solution to keep you on the medicine you need. I am intrigued by the title of the book you recommended. Would love to talk with you about it.
Blessings, dear sister! Your life is an encouragement to me, and so many more!