Overcoming perfectionism- the secret of a happy life
“There is nowhere to file imperfection for a perfectionist”- Sandy M.
The last of the boxes are piled precariously around our new apartment. Things are sliding off the counters, with no homes to corral them into tidy order. I’m still in my pajamas and could really use a shower, but instead, I defy what “should” be done today to embrace what is the better option.
Should has a way of bullying us into corners, doesn’t it? We often feel determined, and sometimes desperate, to live in a way that makes the most of life. To live in constant states of love and generosity and kindness and satisfactory endings. Projects finished, phone calls returned, meals made and homes cleaned.
We tend to slip into wanting to model perfection, instead of embracing the beauty of realistic imperfection.
Nothing wonderful comes from letting perfection dictate our desires.
What are the secrets of being happy for perfectionists?
It is a good and wonderful thing to finish projects, love well, and live in a way that makes a positive impact. However, when we forget to embrace the messy? We miss a wonderful opportunity to find fulfillment right in the chaos.
The unplanned moments have their own lessons to teach when we are willing to stop and live in the mess.
I am 100% a recovering perfectionist. It pleases me to no end to have an organized home, my projects all checked off my list, an actual cooked meal for my family, and to give in meaningful ways to all the people in my world.
I am a recovering perfectionist
In a dream world, my makeup is on point (and actually on my face), pajamas are replaced by daytime clothing, and I fly through my days with competence and good health.
Reality though means that life often doesn’t go as planned, I’m too tired to cook, my body painfully rejects the plans I made the night before when I felt good, and my list gets lost.
Phone calls are behind, papers need to be dealt with, and my creative mind generates more ideas than a person can keep up with (which makes them all sort of sit in limbo).
Perfectionism has no place in the peaceful life of a real woman. We can seek it and chase it and fall down flat when we realize that life is wasted seeking what isn’t attainable.
The world truly won’t end when we are not everything to everyone. When we aren’t even everything to ourselves!
One secret to overcoming perfectionism
Do you want to know the secret to an amazing life? Grace.
Cutting ourselves slack and stepping back to just let go. It hurts us when we try to hold on to imagined images of a perfect life.
It heals us when we celebrate the days where pajamas rule, when we walk to get some soup at the nearest restaurant instead, when we nap if we are tired.
In the margin of slow days, we have the opportunity to look out the window and watch the clouds change. To hear birdsongs and notice a distant wind chime. We can pause on slow days to thank our body for all the effort it expends that we never stop to appreciate.
Life is restored in the acceptance of where we are…not just in where we wanted to be.
Desiring to be on top of things isn’t the enemy, in fact, it is just fine to want to be effective! The lie comes in when we start believing that without perfect, we are failures.
Redefine a happy life
A perfect life is one with joy and laughter and people we love.
A perfect life means we have highs and lows and we keep rising to do our best again.
A perfect life means we do things imperfectly and are finding the beauty in the ordinary, the mundane.
A perfect life can simply mean being who we are.
The person that is awesome in their entirety. The world doesn’t see us as a single glaring flaw…and neither will we. Instead, we’ll change our point of view to see a bigger picture.
Beautiful living in the midst of our circumstances.
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