Parents of a sick child need hope

Parents of a sick child need hope

“Mommy, the doctor said that it is a permanent disability”

It is said that parenthood isn’t for sissies. I can attest to that truth, as recent months have challenged my capacity for knowing what to do next. What to say next.

The days I became a mother, were the most amazing, wonderful days of my life.

No manual comes home with them. We train up our children the best we know how, always hoping and praying for their safety. For smart choices. For excellent character.

Of course, we hope for good health.

What are we left with then, when the unexpected, steals part of our child’s peace away? Discourages their spirits and even debilitates their health?

I know that I am not alone in this passionate and fierce devotion for my children.

A harsh truth of life is that we can’t make our children’s paths free of struggle.  Whether it be mental illness, or differently-abled, or just the normal challenges of growing up?

Here are tips to comfort parents of a sick child when you don’t know what to say…

Coping when kids are sick

 Perfection isn’t required in order to have a rich life. 

What we CAN offer our children? Hope. Commitment.

The same things we’ve always had, but in ways now that perhaps communicate more of our own story. The challenges that have molded us and made us stronger.

It is okay to just be honest, based on their age, and let them know what  challenges have been through, and how you’ve overcome them.

In that spirit, I want to share an open letter to the child who suffers.

To my own sick child

A letter to my hurting child—–

My dear and precious daughter,

I write this letter both as a confessional and a testament to the power of Hope.  You are in a stage of confusion and a bit of despair as you process the next page of your story. As your mom, it is so difficult to know you suffer.

To understand your struggle, but not being able to apply a “mommy” patch and make it better.

What I can offer you, is my hand. My heart, which you’ve always had, is dedicated to your future.

I understand all too well what it means to live with sickness. It has plagued me for many years, not only physically, but with nagging guilt.

Guilt I don’t want for you to carry as well.  You have unfortunately been the recipient of my frequent inability to be the mother I want. The harsh days when my body doesn’t match up with who my spirit claims to be.

Perhaps, my precious girl, that can be understood as a gift I can give to you.

When you are tired, let your body rest. No one is disappointed in you. They delight in who you are, not what you offer them.

When you want to do something, give it a try. The worst case is, you’ll learn from that experience and maybe try a little differently the next time.

When you are resting, use your time for good. Praying for others is a beautiful way to spend those quiet moments.

When you are scared, remember God is near. He goes before you and behind you. He is as near as your breath.

When you are discouraged, don’t waste a moment beating yourself up mentally.  There will be days when this is really, really hard. But it is imperative that you extend yourself grace. Suffering is hard enough with believing lies about your dis-ability. And they are lies, those destroying thoughts. Nothing good comes from staying here.

When you feel isolated or alone, reach out. People can’t read your mind and they really care about lifting you up when you need a hand.

Those are the tough moments my child. Now hear me well as I tell you the beauty that is yours to be had, the unique threads of your own tapestry.

I have had the privilege of a beautiful marriage. Mothered two precious daughters. I’ve created friendships, loved family, and enjoyed powerful community. I’ve homeschooled and journeyed as a writer. There have been countless memories and life-altering experiences that bring great joy.

And, as you know, I’ve done it most days with plenty of pain. Without an ounce of regret!

It takes some practice to get a handle on change, and you will get a handle on it.

There is no timeline, only the meandering of one day at a time.

Remember, never just accept the answers someone else tells you is the final act in your story.

God alone writes every page and knows how the story will go.

I promise you, your life will be an amazing narrative. A choose-your-own –adventure sort of feature.

You are still special, even more so, my fierce warrior child.  And warriors too, need a break to be vulnerable. I’m there for you in every and all versions of YOU.

Love, your mama

Resources for families of a sick child:

• When Your Child Has a Chronic Medical Illness: A Guide for the Parenting Journey
• UnboxMe Care Package For Women
• Chronic Hope: Raising a Child with Chronic Illness with Grace, Courage, and Love
• Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain and Illness
• For small kids:
• When I Get Sick: About Becoming Ill and Feeling Better 
• Melissa & Doug Get Well Doctor’s Kit Play Set 
• The Berenstain Bears: Hospital Friends 
• Disclosure: I only recommend products I do/would use myself. This post may contain affiliate links that at NO additional cost to you, may earn me a small commission to help support this blog. Read full privacy policy here.