feeling overwhelmed with life? 3 tips to battle the tyranny of the urgent

Feeling overwhelmed with life?

A new day dawns with possibility, but she doesn’t notice.

Her brain switches on the minute she wakes, which, unfortunately, came at around 4 am. Already feeling behind, she tries to eat something healthy for breakfast but notices a pile of cat vomit. Cleaning that up she realizes she forgot to order the groceries.

While scanning the shelves, the baby wakes. Trying to double duty as mama, she checks her work email and sighs, another unplanned Zoom meeting this morning. It WAS going to be a day where she could finally work on some personal projects… that will have to wait.

Throwing in some laundry, she imagines her socks walking the halls might be the closest to mopping she’ll get this week. Noticing the bills on the counter, she remembers she forgot to send a birthday card, so she hustles to get that done before the mailman comes.

The phone rings as soon as she sits down to take a long-awaited break. Desperately craving silence, she flicks off the ringer, guilt plaguing her for not being a good friend.

She is just so stretched. Impossibly tired.

Aren’t these emotions we are all too familiar with?

Women wear many hats, but when we wear them all at once it forces us to sway under the imbalance.

Distracted- disturbed, panicked, distressed, distraught, frenzied

Symptoms of being overwhelmed and distracted

Disctracability might seem like a minor annoyance at times, but given enough sway, can cause unwanted consequences. Many that snowball into a pit of frustration as we get stuck in our circles.

The unwanted consequences of living a distracted life… recognize any?

Confusion over what to do next- your brains get so overloaded, you are paralyzed with choice. This often leads to busy work instead of things that make us feel productive
Frustration over inefficiency- you know you are capable of “more”, but a nagging voice reminds you that your to-do list just got carried over to the tomorrow that never comes. Distractions always seem to get in the way of what was intended for the day
Disappointment in your perceived lack of commitment– you beat yourself up, blaming yourselves for not being a go-getter, (like “everyone” else). Yet, it is really not about that- but instead, about lack of margin or health challenges OR too many irons in the fire. This messes with your confidence
Spread too thin- you feel on the verge of falling apart, all the time. Dismayed that nothing is done well, even though you feel completely empty from the constant effort
Lack of progress towards the things that matter to us the most- while putting out fires, the things that enrich your lives, restore your spirits, and challenge your creativity get put on the shelf. This can lead to a lack of contentment

How can I stop feeling overwhelmed?

Friends, I get it. Met too.

No one wants to get stuck in the land of distractions! However, without purposeful boundaries with our time, it winds up being where we break down far too often.

I am the unofficial queen of distractability.

A professional at hustling around doing everything EXCEPT what I set out to accomplish. When I get overwhelmed and don’t have specifics clearly defined, my house is tidy as can be.

Because that is the easy thing. The brainless function creates a sense of accomplishment when things feel out of control.

Putzing, however, no matter how industrious it might seem, is NOT intentional living.

That gap is where we get a bit lost, isn’t it?

How to take care of yourself when feeling overwhelmed

Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost. — Helen Keller

So what is the answer? How do you set boundaries to battle the tyranny of the urgent?

There is perhaps not a one-and-done answer, so much as guidelines. After all, our circumstances are constantly changing. We don’t know what tomorrow brings. But with a plan to reel ourselves back in? We have much better odds of getting those dreams flourishing!

Here are a few freeing thoughts that are worth practicing (no tomato throwing, please) :

We often give control of our time away without realizing it, then grieve its lack in our lives! It is imperative to learn to say NO, guilt-free. We truly are not the only ones who can pick up the slack for _________. And, let’s be honest, is there fulfillment in always trying? We like to help, to fix, to comfort. Those are wonderful traits, but we can’t do it all…well
Find accountability. Your spouse, friend, pastor. Someone who can objectively look at what seems pressing, or a new opportunity, and gauge from an OUTSIDE perspective how that might impact your sanity
Build margin into your routines. Without preplanned breathing room, we are like goldfish. They expand to fill their surroundings. That is what happens with time. Tasks. Obligations. Even the good ones! Don’t forget that good, wonderful, enriching things can still suck the life out of you when you are already walking a thin line of rest/fatigue

What does God say about feeling overwhelmed?

Homemaking, motherhood, working outside the home, volunteering? Everyone has things that push them to the edge of good intentions, and the cliff of overwhelm.

Guard your heart, and a bit of your time too ♥.

Learning to let go and reject the worldly dogma that places all the value in busy? Peace is on the other side my friends. Slow, simple living is becoming wildly popular as people understand the value of time.

And the lack of it all being spoken for.

God is near you and hears your heart and invites you to a place of refuge. Check out his reminders of love when you are in a season of being stretched (some of my favorite verses during raising kids, homeschooling, moving, etc.) :

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you

Matthew 11:28-30 Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly

You are worth slowing down for. Your precious spirit might need some restoration, and that won’t come from pushing, always pushing.

It comes in the beautiful gift of silence. Reprieve that brings renewed hope. You’ve got this, one day at a time.

Prayer for when you feel overwhelmed

Dear Lord,

Help me. I am struggling to not feel crushed under the weight of life. The little and big things that all feel like big things right now.

Please comfort me, remind me of what really matters. And help me to let go of what doesn’t.

Teach me to release the false idea that somehow I can be perfect, or fill all of anyone’s needs. Show me that none of those pursuits bring peace, and are NOT where my value lies.

I want to see what you mean, about the unforced rhythms of grace.

Thank you so much for all you have done for me. And thank you, Lord, that you love me, period. Nothing I can “do” will change that. I am enough right now because YOU say so.

I need hope, and I humbly approach your throne with confidence to receive your grace and peace.

Amen

Download your free printable PDF prayer for when you feel overwhelmed here