Can We Ever Have “Enough” Quality Time with family?
My kids are leaving for a trip. A long, far away adventure that I won’t be able to protect them. No mommy care. And my heart hurts.
Don’t judge me, or offer me platitudes about being in God’s hands.
Of course, parents understand that on a logical level. We smile and nod and say “of course” when we share our thoughts and friends try to comfort us.
Yes, we do. Until they drive off.
Lack of quality time with family
A sneaking voice haunts and whispers:
Did you make sure to have some fun time before they left?
I hope you hugged them enough…
Was it worth it wasting those few moments yelling about breaking that door?
Oh, why oh why weren’t you a perfect parent? What if_______????
That voice is trying to drown out the other voice, the truth.
Why quality time with family is important
The whisper of God that reminds us:
You did the best you knew how.
You can’t pack enough fun EVER into a day to be counted as “enough” to last a lifetime.
Life isn’t a fairy tale and you simply can’t protect them every minute. No matter how you try.
Stop trying so hard and trust me.
So tonight, I’ll let them stay up late. I won’t mention any troubles. I will hug them and release them (because don’t we want, just sometimes, to hold them and never let go until they say “Moooommmmm!“)
I will choose to act normal and just be thankful.
Today was a day. One day in a lifetime. We laughed, we lived, we had moments of good and frustration. And nothing can be done to add to it, make it better or longer or more wonderful.
And even if I try, I don’t hold their life outcome in my hand.
Those platitudes? They hold nuggets of truth.
Spend quality time with the time you have
It turns out their lives really are in God’s hands. And I will hug…and release. There is no “enough”.
There just isn’t for a parent who loves their child.
And that is okay, and really, how it should be. We are free to just enjoy the moments, without trying to quantify them.
We love our children, we hold them when we can and hang on tight to God when we can’t. And we thank Him for the moments because they are all quality in some form.
Teaching, loving, life-changing.
Qualities of quality.
P.S. If you’d like some fresh ideas about creating memories in your family time, here are a few suggestions!
- One Year of Dinner Table Devotions and Discussion Starters
- Family Time Fun Dinner Games and Activities
- More Time Moms 2022 Family Organizer Wall Calendar
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Beautiful and true, Mama. Here’s a virtual hug for you. Well done loving and letting go of your girls. Here’s hope that you get to sit down with a steaming mug of Tazo chai, read your Bible, pray, and write during this separated-from-kids-and-trusting-God-for-their-adventure time.
Loved these words: “We love our children, we hold them when we can and hang on tight to God when we can’t. And we thank Him for the moments because they are all quality in some form. Teaching, loving, life changing. Qualities of quality.”
Aww, thanks Shannon. I appreciate your support and am joyfully anticipating this trip with them in spirit. Their enthusiasm is contagious
Beautiful Christa. Really liked the warmth which flowed throughout the piece. I also liked the links to other former pieces. I had to go back and read one of them. Your voice is such a warm, inviting voice. Your love for family comes through wonderfully. Maybe we will always have that longing for more quality time. Till we get to heaven. There we will be satisfied. There we will have no more goodbyes. I also love how you made a conscious effort to guard your conversation with your kids. To choose what you talk about and what you would shelve. I really like your writing, Christa. So much.
Anne, you just made my day. Thank you!
Awww, now my grandma strings are tugging. I know their adventure will touch others in such a meaningful way. It will also be a practice “away time” in a guarded environment, where they make decisions on their own. Because of what you have taught them, and their love of God, they will have a great time and come back with another piece of the meaning of doing service. Love you all, and you are always in my prayers.
Oh my, I understand.
Wonderfully put Christa.
I hate leave-takings. Life is full of them.You send loved ones off for a visit with their grandparents, friends from out-of-state, special experiences, and they come home and have wonderful stories to share. You are giving them special gifts, showing them a bigger world than they could possibly have if you kept them sheltered forever in their own domain. As Dr. Seuss says, “The places you’ll go, the things you’ll see…” But it’s hard. I’m already excited to hear all about this new adventure when they return to the nest! God bless you all, and have a great 4th!