Mom stress- 9 healing suggestions for hard seasons
Mom stress- 9 healing suggestions for hard seasons
There is no greater pain, perhaps, than a mother who feels helpless.
I too am a mother who understands despair, and had to learn to trust God…I see you mama. ♥ I do.
This is a season, not the forever.
You can trust God with your precious child. I did, I do, and I will. He has proven himself faithful.
I have seen it, and faithfully anticipate even greater joy ahead! Remember, we were prodigals too. He whispered our name and drew us near.
Will he forget your beloved child? Nope.
He captures your tears in a bottle and sees your sorrows. Trust him, pour it all out, because not only can he “handle” it? He sees the big picture and is writing a story unseen to us.
Seek Him. And remember, when we draw near to him, he heals the broken-hearted. That is a promise you can cling to tonight.
Jodie Berndt – “quit studying the problem and start studying the promises“
How can I stop being triggered by my child?
You can’t own the process– yes, do everything you CAN do, but when you are at the end of your options? As hard as this is, there comes a time to step back and let them experience the journey.
We don’t KNOW the story God is writing here and there is a limit to the burden that is ours to carry. We, and they, have to go through instead of around.
Get your fighting gloves on, but not against your child– satan loves to cause discord and whisper lies. The enemy is not the child, the acts they might be committing, or even a person who might be treating them wrongly.
The enemy simply uses those things as tools of destruction. Get pissed off…at the accuser and father of lies. set your anger against the right target.
How can I pray when my child makes bad choices?
Be broken with God– he knows, he sees and he hurts with you and for your child. there is no place here for fancy words or eloquent speeches. Raw and real is what he can handle and this is your safe place to vent, to cry out, and to ask the hard questions.
You might not get the answer you want or any answer at all— but, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t hear and isn’t working. Put your complete pain in his hands and determine to trust him. Minute by minute.
Use the scripture as your arsenal– every time panic and confusion set in, grab a notebook and write out every verse that applies to your fear. Over and over if necessary, until you find a steady, if not weary, place to turn off your brain for the time being.
Those words are not empty and are powerful comfort. no weapon formed against you, or your child, shall prosper. this is GOD’s child you are fighting for, the battle is not your own! You have a strong ally.
How can I stop being so stressed over my kids?
Find a song that captures your emotion– Break every chain by Jesus Culture was on repeat, sometimes for hours during a hard season. I clung desperately to the passion behind the lyrics until the tears were spent.
Music is healing, find your soothing song. better yet, a whole playlist.
Pray with determination– when they are sleeping, battling you, withdrawn, or in a bad situation…pray. Lay outside their door, their car, on the other end of a phone line, or across the country, and petition on their behalf.
For their eyes to be opened to truth, for rescue from struggle and healing from sorrow.
Accept their path is theirs to travel– the hardest, most difficult of all things, is knowing that you can’t fix everything. These precious gifts you’ve tried so hard to protect and love and raise the best you can? Sometimes, they will walk through a season of darkness you can do nothing about.
Do what you can, of course, but know that sometimes they will have to face the consequences of their choices, as painful and impossible as that sounds. We have to learn to let go, and that is why it is essential to cling to God.
If possible try to delicately extract them from bad influences- offer them an out be you being the bad guy.
Don’t make them “choose” unless you are prepared to lose. But, look for the less obvious way to make it harder to be together.
Listen– simply listen, without thinking about how you will respond. Or defend yourself. You know this mama… hold space and let their voice matter.
You can ask for a respectful dialogue after things are heated, but please. Hear them without guilting them. Heather Plett wrote a wonderful article on that here.
How do I love my child during their bad choices?
Love them, unconditionally– giving them your love doesn’t mean being trampled on or taken advantage of. It does mean we are a safe place to land. Our counsel and concern simply will sound like criticism to them (truth isn’t what we always want to hear) but that doesn’t mean we need to keep it all in.
We can say the truth in a tempered, abbreviated fashion. Pray before speaking though, be slow to anger and guard your mouth. Pray before you talk and then, no matter what else transpires, shout your love from the rooftops.
They WILL hurt your feelings. That doesn’t mean what they say is true. But be open to the fact that they say mean things because you are safe. Keep it safe, even when your heart is broken. And be willing to truly hear them out, because we all have room to grow as mothers too…
Jen Hatmaker reminds us, “Perhaps no service rendered to our children is more important than our intercession. A mother’s job is to pray for her children while they don’t have the words, understanding, or insight to pray for themselves. We stand in the gap, praying for their salvation, gifts, and lives, much like the Spirit prays for us”
How do I pray to protect my child making bad choices?
Never give up.
You might feel so alone and as if no one really has a clue about the depth of your fear and sorrow. but God does, he always does and he is walking through it with you, even when you feel alone and terrified and clueless.
There isn’t always a quick and easy answer, and I wish so much I could end this with a one size fits all solution for you! For your child.
Let go of the mom stress that takes all the blame to heart
Please know though, you are NOT the cause of every child’s choice. It isn’t all your perceived failure. And sometimes, there is a time of painful distance that is a horrible part of the journey.
That my friends does NOT mean this is the end. That what seems the worst moment of your lives will last forever.
The sun shines again and I pray you fight fervently for what you can control and literally hold your hands open and release the rest to God. Things can, and most often do, change with beauty from ashes.
This is but a page (albeit a scary and painful one), a paragraph from a story that we can’t see the end of. However, remember that God is for us, and our children.
He fights for us, we need only stand still. (Exodus 14)
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Mathew 5:16- “help me to let my “light shine” before my daughter , so that she may see the good I do and praise YOU for it” (from Jodie Berndt’s book…this too is my prayer for my own walk. That my children will love the Lord, because their mama does with all her heart)
