Staying connected to our grandparents is worth the time
Staying connected to our grandparents is worth the time
Enjoying lunch with elderly friends recently, the subject of the joy of being a grandparent came up…with a twist. His eyes clearly showed sorrow, as he lamented that his grown grandchildren don’t have time for him anymore. They have their “own” lives and outgrew them.
I hear this ALOT, and it always grieves my heart. (to be fair, the grandkids possibly don’t feel that at all!)
Grandparents are people. Interesting people who have lots of unique experiences to share about their history. And wisdom. (This is my resourceful Grandpa in the photo mowing grass with a child on his lap haha).
Grandparents LONG to be invited into their grandkid’s lives, and can make wonderful friends.
The elderly are gifts. Sometimes they are neglected. NOT by intent, but by demands from our own lives that are still busy.
“Love is the greatest gift one generation can leave another.” – Richard Garnett
Cultivate adult relationships with grandparents
Here are a few things I’ve learned from these conversations:
See them as people. Not just for what they offer as grandparents, but as people who have interests. Fears. Jokes. Ask them about themselves…
Invest time in them. To grandparents, it literally grieves their hearts to have their grandkids grow up and lose the magic of seeing them. They want you to WANT to see them, not to feel like a burden (here are simple ways to connect when our love languages are different♥)
Texting might not feel like a full relationship for grandparents. It is a fun “extra”, a delight. But it doesn’t replace time or a phone call. They often can’t see well or struggle with technology. If able, meet them where they are most comfortable. Usually, that is the telephone 😊. Even in my own life, hearing my young grandson’s voice warms the deepest part of my heart. Conversation is a huge gift to offer (on that note, offer to teach them how to communicate in YOUR preferred way so they’ll feel comfortable trying something new, like Facetime)
“While it may not be the top priority on your to-do list, there are multiple reasons why it’s important to regularly communicate with your grandparents. First off, they feel special when you reach out to them. It makes them happy to know that you thought of them, even with a busy schedule. Secondly, they want to know what’s going on in your life. Or thirdly, they might just want someone to talk to. Giving them a call also allows you to check in on them and make sure they’re doing well.- Baylorlariat.com“
Loving grandparents bonds the generations
In a healthy family, we are used to our grandparents being there “for us”…and they’d appreciate reciprocity as they age and we become adults.
It can be hard, when our generational age gaps/experiences make it challenging to know what to say? Here is a printable list of questions to bridge generation gaps that could be a starting point.
“Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation.” — Lois Wyse
This is NOT a guilt trip. Just a heart share. The onus is not on grandkids to do all the relational work, of course…but perhaps understanding grandparents POV helps those relationships grow even stronger♥.
P.S. And grandparents? Please don’t give up, we are all learning and it’s all worth it…here are ideas from The Long Distance Grandparent to help you connect with the grandkids you love so much.
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