I didn’t have any intention of sharing this story. Actually, I hate sharing it and my stomach churns to write this…but the truth requires telling.
It has been almost two years since the confirmation of what I already knew. Something wasn’t quite right about that “dot” on my forehead.
For years I’d been stopped by friends and strangers to ask me if I knew I had a smudge on my face.
If I knew…
Hard to miss. Make-up didn’t cover it. Well-meaning people would stop me and ask.
Here is an example. I worked at a store where a customer, a nurse, felt compelled to encourage me to get that “dot” looked at. (read about warning signs here)
The thing is, I had. I knew in my gut it wasn’t supposed to be there. For about ten years I had tried to rub it off, scrub it off, bleach it off. It just grew. One doctor even burned it off.
It came back.
My friend Pamela shared her story and it planted a seed that perhaps I should too. But I didn’t.
Then my biological father died and I knew I needed to tell my story. Maybe it will encourage you to look closer at your own body. To trust your instinct.
My father had three forms of skin cancer
Growing up in SoCal, he spent many years at the beach before sunscreen was common.
I feel sure his story bears telling because he fought for years against melanoma. Angiosarcoma, Melanoma, and Sarcomatoid Carcinoma are three enemies no one wants to battle.
His story is not my story and I pray you watch closely to make sure they don’t become yours.
I am going to share some pictures, swallowing any vanity and pride because I want you to see what a potential life-stealer can look like.
I was very fortunate
A new dermatologist looked and listened to my gut feelings.
She scheduled a biopsy right away. Then we needed another one. Fortunately, my diagnosis was Malignant Melanoma in situ.
That means it was in the early stages and on the top layers; it hadn’t spread and they were able to remove it all.
I won’t sugar coat it
The procedures were not fast healing for me. I was sort of shocked by the scar.
Mostly though, I was relieved.
My doctor tried for a year to get me to understand the gravity of the situation. Although I came for my every 4-6 month full body check (humiliation at its finest) I was just plain relieved.
When he died…I got it. Loud and clear.
So sharing this story, this personal and somewhat embarrassing story, I hope will save someone. That it will matter.
Please share with a loved one. Get checked out. Know what to look for. My body is bearing an increasing number of scars that have come back negative. Scary and negative. Thankfully. Gratefully.
I don’t want to get these checkups. I understand your fear and discomfort.
But my eyes have been forever opened to the potential for unchecked and untreated issues through someone in my life.
My beautiful friend, Christa, you are so brave! I am so, so glad you finally found a Dr. who listened to you. I just this week went for my whole-body check. (Yes — humilitation at its very best.) I too have an ever-increasing number of scars from my Southern California childhood / tanning beds / baby oil suntanning methods when I was younger. All have been pre-cancerous. As uncomfortable as it is every time I get something removed, I am thankful each time. Because each scar represents life, just like you said. Thank you for writing this.
Yes. Without a doubt. Plenty of embarassingly funny… I shall try to remember them all. 🙂 And yes, as a matter of fact, I did use baby oil. Oh my! I told that to my Dr. once as he was removing one of my moles. I think I’m a nervous talker/giggler. He didn’t laugh. The nurse did, though. Then she asked him if he ever did that. 😉 THAT was a funny mental image.
Um Bria? My skin doctor hasn’t laughed at any of my on the chair humor. I swear we are twins. I fill that awkward paper rustling silence with embarrassing humor. Takes the focus for a moment off all the “lifting and peering”
Christa, you have the most beautiful blue eyes! I noticed that way first in your photos. But so many will be glad you checked it out further! This was one of your best posts ever.
I have skin issues. I’ve had several pre-cancer places removed. I, too, lived during a time when we didn’t wear sunscreen and so many times I was burned. Anyway, you reminded me that I probably should make my yearly check up. Sigh. And I have a couple scars on my face from accidents, so I understand about not wanting to have those, too. I hate going to the doctor!
It seems we So Cal folks have a lot in common. 36 years ago I had a large chunk removed from my upper arm. It was also melanoma. I was ashamed to go sleeveless for years. I’m now proud to say I am a survivor. I just had this discussion with my daughter-in-law (from San Diego) yesterday. I hope your message reaches many.
I had a place on my nose that would peel, itch, and bleed. I thought for a while that it was just a rough spot. My doctor used C02. She had offered to have it biopsied first. I would rather go through something once! It made it red for about 2 weeks, and then it healed. It was pre-cancerous she told me.
As always Anne Peterson says what I wanted to say–I’m so glad you were brave and hopefully your courage will be contagious. Pamela also “guilted” me into getting a skin check (I say that fondly) and my mind was much relieved to learn I have nothing to be worried about at this time. I shared your post on Facebook because it’s that important. And by the way, no scar or bandaid can overshadow those beautiful blue eyes!
Ahh Pamela is a good friend to you for that ♥ Thank you for sharing. And sweet flattery to boot. I am just thankful to have eyes that work, I tell ya…the pain in the muscles over them gave me about a six month challenge
Beauty is also revealed in the person’s eyes… their soul revealed…. and your inner beauty shines through, just as your outer beauty does. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing Christa. I’ve had about 3 places removed on my chest that were basal cell and squamous cell carcinoma. Not nearly as dangerous as melanoma, but still important for all of us to be aware of our own bodies and get checked out. I go now every year… and yes, it’s definitely a humbling experience. 🙂
Lance and I lost a dear friend to melanoma in February. Becky was 33, with two little ones and a young marriage…thank you for bringing more light to a form of cancer that isn’t talked about enough. I hope you view that scar as a daily reminder to cherish the days you have yet to come with your awesome family:)
I had a mole removed from my left bicep last year; it was small, but it was fast-growing so I had it removed just in case. Luckily it turned out to be just a regular mole but I was quite shocked at the size of the scar left behind (and the surgeon told me that if I had to go back for more tissue to be removed that it would be even bigger)! I’ve now come to the conclusion that it is better to be alive with a scar–and I can always say that I got it that one time I had to fight off a horde of ninja–than dead without a scar. I do get that it’s much more of a shock to have a scar on your face though.
(I do massage it with coconut oil when I remember, and that’s helped it a lot. Something to try?)
I just started this journey, when I had a mole removed from my face. I had always thought of it as a beauty mark (Marilyn type). A few days later I got the call, the one I had hoped wouldn’t come. The results were back and they had found basal cells. By the time they got it all, I had seven stitches and a lovely bandage above my lip. Where I once had a beauty mark, I now have a badge.
I’m sitting here in tears reading your blog. I wish I could be as brave as you. A year ago I had a mole removed from my neck and they phoned me at work two weeks later to tell me it was a malignant melanoma. I fell apart on the phone. I had to have more tissue removed from my neck which made the scar double in size. this past year has been skin tests (yes, completely humiliating) and further removals (so far all clear). I have another skin test coming up and I’m a complete mess. I don’t feel brave like you at all. I look at my scar every day and all I see is how ugly it is. How do I do this. I’m so afraid
Had another skin test and was told I needed two more removals, one on my nose. Can’t hide that one. My rational mind says stay calm, it’s only a precaution but it’s not working. My husband doesn’t like to talk about it. And my best friend has been lost to me. She was horrified to see the scar on my neck and has since said she just doesn’t want to deal with it (cancer). We used to talk several times a day and now I barely hear from her. I’ve pulled so deep into myself and I feel weak and ashamed. I just don’t know how you find so much strength. I’m trying to find my way but it’s not working. I’d appreciate any words of wisdom you may have. You seem to know the way.
s not possible for everyone to maintain their natural hair because of
their busy life and unhealthy eating habits. Further diagnostic studies, such as CT, MRI, or Bone Scan, might narrow down the diagnosis.
Painful and expensive surgery can have your warts return or
leave you with with a permanent scar. Salicylic acid is applied to get rid of the finger warts.
Thank you for being so brave, Christa. Telling the story is sure to help others!
…And on a diff subject, I sure do love that font that my name is in with this comment! Ha!
Susie, you crack me up! A true sister across the miles. I always look at fonts…thanks for the encouragement today
I love your sharing. It is so honest and heartfelt. Thank you for the confidence you show in letting us know. Btw your photo looks beautiful!
Thank you Lotta for commenting ♥
My beautiful friend, Christa, you are so brave! I am so, so glad you finally found a Dr. who listened to you. I just this week went for my whole-body check. (Yes — humilitation at its very best.) I too have an ever-increasing number of scars from my Southern California childhood / tanning beds / baby oil suntanning methods when I was younger. All have been pre-cancerous. As uncomfortable as it is every time I get something removed, I am thankful each time. Because each scar represents life, just like you said. Thank you for writing this.
Me too, same SoCal background. I used to put baby oil on, did you? Keep those exams up. You are a writer, surely a funny story will emerge? 🙂
Yes. Without a doubt. Plenty of embarassingly funny… I shall try to remember them all. 🙂 And yes, as a matter of fact, I did use baby oil. Oh my! I told that to my Dr. once as he was removing one of my moles. I think I’m a nervous talker/giggler. He didn’t laugh. The nurse did, though. Then she asked him if he ever did that. 😉 THAT was a funny mental image.
Um Bria? My skin doctor hasn’t laughed at any of my on the chair humor. I swear we are twins. I fill that awkward paper rustling silence with embarrassing humor. Takes the focus for a moment off all the “lifting and peering”
Christa, you have the most beautiful blue eyes! I noticed that way first in your photos. But so many will be glad you checked it out further! This was one of your best posts ever.
I have skin issues. I’ve had several pre-cancer places removed. I, too, lived during a time when we didn’t wear sunscreen and so many times I was burned. Anyway, you reminded me that I probably should make my yearly check up. Sigh. And I have a couple scars on my face from accidents, so I understand about not wanting to have those, too. I hate going to the doctor!
You are such a gem!
I know your family will be grateful for your self care. Thanks for commenting today!
It seems we So Cal folks have a lot in common. 36 years ago I had a large chunk removed from my upper arm. It was also melanoma. I was ashamed to go sleeveless for years. I’m now proud to say I am a survivor. I just had this discussion with my daughter-in-law (from San Diego) yesterday. I hope your message reaches many.
You go girl! I am proud of you, thanks for commenting. You are a beautiful lady
Christa,
Another good post. This one will help those who are not brave. You are brave and hopefully it will be contagious. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for reading!
I had a place on my nose that would peel, itch, and bleed. I thought for a while that it was just a rough spot. My doctor used C02. She had offered to have it biopsied first. I would rather go through something once! It made it red for about 2 weeks, and then it healed. It was pre-cancerous she told me.
I go every year so far since then.
Research shows that many rough spots are worth checking out I found. So glad you found it in the “pre” stage!
The scar will get better!
As always Anne Peterson says what I wanted to say–I’m so glad you were brave and hopefully your courage will be contagious. Pamela also “guilted” me into getting a skin check (I say that fondly) and my mind was much relieved to learn I have nothing to be worried about at this time. I shared your post on Facebook because it’s that important. And by the way, no scar or bandaid can overshadow those beautiful blue eyes!
Ahh Pamela is a good friend to you for that ♥ Thank you for sharing. And sweet flattery to boot. I am just thankful to have eyes that work, I tell ya…the pain in the muscles over them gave me about a six month challenge
no need to feel embarrassed by that story – it’s inspiring.
Christa
Thank you for being willing to share your pain with all of us.
Beauty is also revealed in the person’s eyes… their soul revealed…. and your inner beauty shines through, just as your outer beauty does. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing Christa. I’ve had about 3 places removed on my chest that were basal cell and squamous cell carcinoma. Not nearly as dangerous as melanoma, but still important for all of us to be aware of our own bodies and get checked out. I go now every year… and yes, it’s definitely a humbling experience. 🙂
I am so delighted this piece impacted you all! Thank you for taking the time to comment, it means a lot to writers to get feedback
Lance and I lost a dear friend to melanoma in February. Becky was 33, with two little ones and a young marriage…thank you for bringing more light to a form of cancer that isn’t talked about enough. I hope you view that scar as a daily reminder to cherish the days you have yet to come with your awesome family:)
I had a mole removed from my left bicep last year; it was small, but it was fast-growing so I had it removed just in case. Luckily it turned out to be just a regular mole but I was quite shocked at the size of the scar left behind (and the surgeon told me that if I had to go back for more tissue to be removed that it would be even bigger)! I’ve now come to the conclusion that it is better to be alive with a scar–and I can always say that I got it that one time I had to fight off a horde of ninja–than dead without a scar. I do get that it’s much more of a shock to have a scar on your face though.
(I do massage it with coconut oil when I remember, and that’s helped it a lot. Something to try?)
(Visiting from SITS again.)
I just started this journey, when I had a mole removed from my face. I had always thought of it as a beauty mark (Marilyn type). A few days later I got the call, the one I had hoped wouldn’t come. The results were back and they had found basal cells. By the time they got it all, I had seven stitches and a lovely bandage above my lip. Where I once had a beauty mark, I now have a badge.
I am glad you got it taken care of when you did Michelle! I pray today that they got all the cells
I’m sitting here in tears reading your blog. I wish I could be as brave as you. A year ago I had a mole removed from my neck and they phoned me at work two weeks later to tell me it was a malignant melanoma. I fell apart on the phone. I had to have more tissue removed from my neck which made the scar double in size. this past year has been skin tests (yes, completely humiliating) and further removals (so far all clear). I have another skin test coming up and I’m a complete mess. I don’t feel brave like you at all. I look at my scar every day and all I see is how ugly it is. How do I do this. I’m so afraid
Had another skin test and was told I needed two more removals, one on my nose. Can’t hide that one. My rational mind says stay calm, it’s only a precaution but it’s not working. My husband doesn’t like to talk about it. And my best friend has been lost to me. She was horrified to see the scar on my neck and has since said she just doesn’t want to deal with it (cancer). We used to talk several times a day and now I barely hear from her. I’ve pulled so deep into myself and I feel weak and ashamed. I just don’t know how you find so much strength. I’m trying to find my way but it’s not working. I’d appreciate any words of wisdom you may have. You seem to know the way.
s not possible for everyone to maintain their natural hair because of
their busy life and unhealthy eating habits. Further diagnostic studies, such as CT, MRI, or Bone Scan, might narrow down the diagnosis.
Painful and expensive surgery can have your warts return or
leave you with with a permanent scar. Salicylic acid is applied to get rid of the finger warts.