The Importance Of Relationships: 7 ideas to find your tribe

The Importance Of Relationships: 7 ideas to find your tribe

The last goodbyes were rough. Hugs and tears and encouragement; brave words were spoken. It was time to board the plane and leave home, community, and life as I knew it.

Everything is changing in our world.

The youngest child graduated high school, making decisions about her future. The oldest child left for a year-long mission trip around the world.  14 years of homeschooling has ended, essentially my career will be changed as well.

In addition to that, we decided to move across the country.

There is a gaping void where prior interactions and meaningful relationships had filled the spaces of my life.

It’s hard for us when life shifts and we are suddenly without the familiar. Thrust into the new landscape of people and place.

We’re tempted to withdraw. We gather up our fears and build up walls. This is the opposite of a rich life. Because community is essential for moving forward.

Relationships are the gifts God showers us with,  to plant roots, and thrive.

(Here is a peek of some friends I made when I reached out of my comfort zone, to attend a writing conference. New can be awesome!)

Are you in a place of change?

Don’t listen to the voice that tells us to lay low and wait. This is the time to be bold! Instead of waiting for people to come to us, it is best to put ourselves out there.

7 ideas to find your tribe

1.  Acknowledge that finding community may take a few tries. That there might be a few false starts and things that don’t work out. Don’t give up! Keep experimenting. The right fit will come
2. Ask God directly for a circle of friends to love and be loved by. He is the ultimate giver of relationship and understands our needs
3. Say yes to invitations. The week I moved here, an old friend invited me to a small group in her home. My gut tightened and I wanted to politely decline. Fear, my friends, gets us nowhere. I accepted, and as a result was delighted to find a small band of beautiful, deep women on my very first week!
4. If a physical move has occurred, allow moments to grieve the loss and change of current relationships. It is a difficult thing to say goodbyes. Knowing that things won’t be the same. That doesn’t mean the relationships will be gone, but they will need to be cultivated differently. Recognizing that one thing, goes a long way towards opening our hearts to new relationships
5. Define what community means, specific to your needs. Would you like to find people that share your hobbies? New friends to walk alongside you spiritually? It is helpful to understand that we don’t have to find all things in one person. God created the body to offer a variety of gifts. Enjoy what those parts are of people, and offer your gift freely
6. Allow vulnerability. We are designed to be uplifting, challenging and authentic with each other. That is hard to do when our guard is up, and it seems like a scary beginning. Take the first step
7. Reach out without expectation of reciprocity. Expectations can lead to disappointment. Instead, be willing to be open to surprise. Just enjoying what the moment offers

Remember that your best possible friend is already with you. Jesus.

Why are relationships so important?

It takes time and effort to build up a new circle of people to do life with.

It isn’t always easy, but it is definitely always worth it.

Hebrews 10:24-25 outlines the benefits of true relationship with each other. “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another”

Finally, YOU are wanted and needed.  Even if it doesn’t seem like it yet.

Participate with anticipation, and soon community will begin to surround and support you.

The design of a good God, who is the architect of relationship.

Resources you might enjoy:

• The One Year Daily Acts of Friendship: 365 Days to Finding, Keeping, and Loving Your Friends
• After the boxes are unpacked
• Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely
• Messy Beautiful Friendship: Finding and Nurturing Deep and Lasting Relationships
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