The Inconvenience Of True Friendship
I learned something about friendship last week.
True friendship is seldom convenient.
I traveled to help a friend in need; it really wasn’t simple. There is a lot to organize before you leave your family. The planned boxes of our lives to be checked and ordered. I could have said no.
Instead? I jumped at the chance to say yes, to offer my life as an outpouring of love to another. To Jesus.
John 15:13 -Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
What is an example of true friendship?
Before you paint me as a saint, please know there have been too many times that I turned my head when I could have offered my hand.
Overall I try to be a good friend to people, but there have been times I felt like I just had nothing to give.
The main problem with that, is that when we worry too much about the hassle or commitment of serving others? The focus is on us, on me. I don’t want to live there, do you?
I have both received and offered.
Rejected and neglected.
Given generously, all that I had… and stingily clung to my time.
I understand what it is both to need a friend and find none and to be surrounded by so much love I am stunned. Humbled. Grateful.
Being a true friend isn’t always easy
It is easy to talk ourselves out of doing the right thing.
In short, it is easier to be focused on how impossible it is to be a friend to someone, who might be in a difficult situation, than just offer ourselves BEFORE we convince our logical self that the timing just isn’t right.
That someone else will do it.
That our own world would fall apart if we took that much time away to _____________…
1 Thessalonians 5:11- Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
What are the signs of true friendship?
I am convinced after my trip that nothing is a greater blessing than to truly lay down your life for a friend.
Purposely taking off a few of our normal daily hats, and putting on an apron of selflessness, and digging in.
And the biggest surprise? We are the fortunate recipients. We are the receiver of the greatest gift. Service is a gift to all involved.
Friendship is love and service and joy and yes, sometimes it means sharing someone’s pain.
There might even be a personal sacrifice but in the bigger picture? Dear friendships are always worth the effort.
How much richer to look at offering our life to someone as a privilege, instead of a hassle.
True, it is seldom convenient to be a true friend
I am positive, somewhere along the line, someone has reached out into your life to be the friend you needed at a time that was totally and completely impractical for their own needs. They gave away a piece of themselves.
You both received the blessings.
In my own life, it would take days to count off all the times that friends have reached into my life. My family’s life. In the times of my greatest needs? I was loved and cared for.
It is a circle after all.
I hope that if I needed someone to come tomorrow, there would be friends ready to drop everything and stand in the gap for me.
And know this, if you need that as well?
I pray that you have a network of friends in place for you. If you don’t *yet* I urge you to start gathering, investing in being the kind of friend you long for while waiting for them to come into your life.
When time is short
Now to be clear, sometimes our time is stretched incredibly thin. We really don’t have extra to give.
Please consider being open to where there is a need, and whether we might be just the right person to fill it.
The only way to have a friend is to be one- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Friendship resources you might enjoy:
- The One Year Daily Acts of Friendship: 365 Days to Finding, Keeping, and Loving Your Friends
- After the boxes are unpacked
- Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely
- Messy Beautiful Friendship: Finding and Nurturing Deep and Lasting Relationships
-
Simply Said Small Talk Square – “A Friend is God’s Way of Proving He Doesn’t Want Us to Walk Alone ”
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Beautiful
Lovely post Christa. There was a time not too long ago when friends came to our aid when we needed it the most. Words cannot describe how grateful I am for them being there when we needed a helping hand. I truly hope that when the time comes I will be able to return the favor.
Nothing that requires serious and immediate attention ever seems to come at a “good time”…does it? We are so blessed to have friends who will make the necessary sacrifices when they are able and come to help in times of great need or distress. Thank you, Christa, for being that friend for me and my family last week. We needed help and God carved out just the path in bringing you here. My doctors have all said that laughter is good medicine, too, and when they heard I had been sharing some smiles with a dear friend they all agreed that was probably as good as anything else I could have experienced last week. I like how you encourage others, when you write, “I urge you to start gathering, investing in being the kind of friend you long for while waiting for them to come into your life.” Your photos remind me of some other times I had nearly forgotten, but recalling when I’ve been able to give to others makes it easier for me to reach out and ask for help now when I need it, too. God does give us time to be both givers and receivers. We should rejoice in both! Thank you for being a true friend indeed.
^^^^ That is very beautifully said. And a testament to the kind of friend you are, Christa.
I think we all need different kinds of friends, a bouquet of friends, if you will. Some to make you laugh and pick you up when you’re sad, some to listen when you just need someone to talk to, some that you share hobbies with or work out with. But I really like the idea that friendship requires some sacrifice, “laying down of your life.” Someone who won’t make any sacrifices for you at all probably isn’t really your friend. BTW, I love the background of the posters, how did you do that?
Not convenient but well worth it. I’ve never regretted helping someone but I have regretted NOT helping.
Enjoy seeing you all weigh in, Kathleen. All the pics/graphics I made on PicMonkey, easy and intuitive program. TC, you are so right. Only regretted the stuff I didn’t do! Ana Lynn, did you struggle to accept the help? Sometimes that seems so hard, but we bless each OTHER. Important piece I learned after years of only trying to be the “helper” instead of the “helpee”. Now I like both!
Well said!
Christa;
Good words. I am in that lonely phase of life after discontinuing a long yet increasingly toxic relationship with good friends. Longing for that kind of relationship again but in a healthy way. I think in the meantime, God is teaching me to lean completely into Him.