Feeling like a failure as a mom? Here is the truth…

Feeling like a failure as a mom? Here is the truth…

As women, we are tasked with the enormous responsibility of setting the tone in our families. This can feel like a privilege on the good days, when everyone is getting along, and peace is pervasive.

It weighs us down on the impossible days when nothing goes right and we are on edge with one another.

We feel guilty when we don’t do it right; too tired to appreciate the fruit of doing it well…good enough.

At times we defiantly refuse to admit that we do indeed sway the mood of the house. After all we reason, we are just one of several people involved.

What to do when you feel like you are failing as a parent?

Ahh, but step back with me a moment.

If I journey down my mental categorization of the good and bad moments in our family, there is often a clear influencer. Me.

That is tough to swallow. I am a super flawed being, and my family has traveled the road of growth along with me. All of it.

It is Me that I can see angrily demanding my children behave.

I wish I could have had the tools to do better. To not remember the frustration in my husband’s eyes, when I resolutely dug into the opposite way he desired. 

But, I know I did the best I knew how that day, that moment.

Those marginal times exist in any family. Including yours, so please, stop feeling like you are the only one.

How much better to remember the sweet eyes of a child looking up to a Mother who comforts, delights, learns, explores with them. My husband’s actions and words reflecting the joy of having me for his wife.

Why do I feel like a bad mom?

That’s Me too.

It’s You too, whether you know it yet or not, it is you too. The good and wonderful parts of you.

Do you relate to why it matters so deeply to recognize this influence?

There is not a day that goes by that we do not guide our families. I thank God for every moment that  He strengthens my resolve to influence well. In love, compassion,  and encouragement.

Proverbs 12:25 teaches “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”

We have the awesome privilege of being that kind word.

 Why is it so easy to berate ourselves as mothers, instead of believing we are doing a dang good job? 

The power of a mother

I love pictures like this. In our march forward of being the heart of our homes, we sometimes forget to fall to the rear. That can be where the best view lies.

Not just in leading, but being the love that brings up the rear & gathers in from the edges.

The fruit of our labor is most clearly visible, by taking time to slow down long enough to see it. Crappy days happen.

They don’t have to define our view of ourselves as women, as mothers.

Choose the view from behind today.

**Ps, my children are grown now. I spend much time reflecting on motherhood and marriage,  because they are HARD work. And so very worth it. My passion is to encourage you. If there is a specific topic you need to hear about? Please use the contact form at the top of the page and send me a note ♥

Books I like for tackling mom guilt

• The Lifegiving Parent: Giving Your Child a Life Worth Living for Christ

• Let Them Be Kids: Adventure, Boredom, Innocence, and Other Gifts Children Need

• Guilt-Free Mommy: Insights and Tools to Overcome Mommy Guilt

• The Guilt-Free Prayer Journal for Moms (The Guilt-Free Journal) 

• Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms: Simple Ways to Stress Less and Enjoy Your Family More
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