Remember when 2020 was imagined to be the best year ever, according to the multitude of marketing promises? We set forth with goals and plans and dreams, none of which included the following events.
As we prepare to enter another new year (OR a midyear reset!) I fervently would love for you to join me in walking forward with courage and tenacity.
Pressing on with a spunk that gives the middle finger to the verbiage that insists “life sucks”. As if the difficulties of this enduring season are the complete story.
What do you see as success when things fall apart?
A friend of mine hosted an online challenge this week, one that encouraged looking back at the year and gleaning the good. Walking forward with release of this year, and confidence about the year ahead. It sounded wonderful.
Yet, I stumbled.
I sat for an hour staring at the first question. What successes could I build on? To be completely vulnerable, it was really kind of crushing.
We’ve gone through the year and worked very hard to find joy, be content, exhibit kindness, determine to celebrate the everyday moments whenever possible. Successes.
However, when I tried to apply the question to what my “goals” were for the year, I struggled to apply the word success. It made me feel a bit like I completely failed.
Staring at my yearly vision board, full of fun visual reminders, was paralyzing. You see, I’ve worked very hard for 15 years to be a writer, and all of that fell apart this year. So many goals were based on those kinds of projected outcomes.
Find fresh examples of success
Give yourself a break, lady!
My daughter popped in the room and asked what was troubling me, as I fought back tears staring at the question. She immediately grabbed some sticky notes and scissors and a pen and started scanning my board.
B put check marks on little sticky notes and looked at what I could not see clearly, and gave me a fresh, sweet perspective. From her eyes, and from God.
“Give yourself a break mom. No one’s year turned out as they thought.” She went through and pointed out non-work-related triumphs, and coupled them with almost every vision board objective.
Humility, gratitude, awe…at my girl who grew into a wise young woman who helped a tired, hurting mom see things with lucidity.
How to answer what success looks like
Let’s walk forward with our palms turned upwards instead of grabbing tightly.
Perhaps we’re not the ones to define what our successes are. Because to my daughter, I am a tremendous success. And my own clouded judgment threatened to block that perspective. Could that be happening in your own life?
A quiet and modest life brings more joy than a pursuit of success bound with constant unrest– Albert Einstein
God is so faithful. Let’s remember as we approach 2021 that He walks before us, behind us, and ahead of us. Whether we see Him or not, we can grapple with all the “things” life throws at us. While still choosing confidence that He is not surprised, nor unprepared with a plan.
His plan, which often, looks NOTHING like ours. And that my friends, is where we find ourselves as we wrap up this year.
New ways to determine what success looks like for you
Complaints do not define you. What are YOUR successes?
Ask someone else if you struggle to find them. Listen with an open heart instead of tossing out rebuttals. I promise you…there is someone who will remember you in a very different light than the harsh glare of our own self-criticism.
You are precious. This year’s stumbles, grumbles, and complaints do not define you. Or me.
Grace upon grace to you, and thank you for doing the best you could. You were imperfect, just like the rest of us. So be it…moving on, go forth and love well.
Leave me a comment and let me know something about a “win” you’ll grab onto for 2020. I’ll see you on the journey. (and check out this SUPERB piece on Rising After A Pandemic Knocks You Down by Diana LeGere over at Propel Women)
Need inspiration about being productive with uncertainty?
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Oh how you unfolded your story right here in remarkable ways. Wow! What a God ordained moment. Brenna home and walking in the room right at that build up moment for you! Wow. Thank you Jesus. And thanks again to Him for giving you a platform to share. Oh my heart received it as a hug and whisper.
2020 for me was a year of color. Where my days weren’t just to get through but something to plan and do. It was a year to discover what is in front of me and enjoy it, whether it be learning the river in the nearby town, a 2 mile bike ride down the road finding a man who runs an animal farm and welcomes people to feed them anytime of day, or finding a creative outlet with installing balloon arches, and more.
You are such a gifted author! I’m so proud of you and know God will be placing the exact people he wants to hear this message.
Oh friend, how I pray for your delight and celebration of life. In the “midst” and the “after” of trauma and loss. You inspire me constantly, and thank you for letting us share these beautiful reflections with you
Oh, my friend! I so appreciate all you write! We are so hard on ourselves, aren’t we? I look back and see all I SHOULD have done in the down time. It is hard to see all I DID, even though I look around my new home and see the fruits of my labor. I prepped a house for sale, packed and stored all our worldly goods, spent precious time with my parents, moved in and decorated most of my new house. But, do you know what I keep going back to? The blessing of sleeping on the schedule that God gave my body!! This has been a struggle my whole life. For most of the last 9 months, I’ve been able to stay up late and sleep in. I’m sleeping better and feeling better than I have in years! All these years of feeling bad about being a night owl in an early bird world! That is like feeling guilty about being a brunette (my true hair color) Ha! God gave us the beautiful night sky to enjoy as much as the sunrise. I’ve always leaned toward the love of the stars rather than the sun.
Tracy, thank you, it was a delight to read your views on looking back over the year. And, quite the eloquent last sentence. I hope to remember that wisdom!
Oh how you unfolded your story right here in remarkable ways. Wow! What a God ordained moment. Brenna home and walking in the room right at that build up moment for you! Wow. Thank you Jesus. And thanks again to Him for giving you a platform to share. Oh my heart received it as a hug and whisper.
2020 for me was a year of color. Where my days weren’t just to get through but something to plan and do. It was a year to discover what is in front of me and enjoy it, whether it be learning the river in the nearby town, a 2 mile bike ride down the road finding a man who runs an animal farm and welcomes people to feed them anytime of day, or finding a creative outlet with installing balloon arches, and more.
You are such a gifted author! I’m so proud of you and know God will be placing the exact people he wants to hear this message.
Oh friend, how I pray for your delight and celebration of life. In the “midst” and the “after” of trauma and loss. You inspire me constantly, and thank you for letting us share these beautiful reflections with you
Oh, my friend! I so appreciate all you write! We are so hard on ourselves, aren’t we? I look back and see all I SHOULD have done in the down time. It is hard to see all I DID, even though I look around my new home and see the fruits of my labor. I prepped a house for sale, packed and stored all our worldly goods, spent precious time with my parents, moved in and decorated most of my new house. But, do you know what I keep going back to? The blessing of sleeping on the schedule that God gave my body!! This has been a struggle my whole life. For most of the last 9 months, I’ve been able to stay up late and sleep in. I’m sleeping better and feeling better than I have in years! All these years of feeling bad about being a night owl in an early bird world! That is like feeling guilty about being a brunette (my true hair color) Ha! God gave us the beautiful night sky to enjoy as much as the sunrise. I’ve always leaned toward the love of the stars rather than the sun.
Tracy, thank you, it was a delight to read your views on looking back over the year. And, quite the eloquent last sentence. I hope to remember that wisdom!