Mission trips for teens (when you struggle to let go)
Mission trips for teens (when you struggle to let go)
My youngest daughter wants to travel to Guatemala.
Her walls have long been plastered with maps of the world. Her globe lamp shines above her as she reads and dreams in her chair. Bookshelves hold rows of neatly organized National Geographic magazines.
And now, her hope is set on a mission trip to a country the size of Tennessee, with a population of 14 million people.
The problem of course, for me, is that mixed in with her young woman features is the face of my little girl. My baby. That I have kept near and relatively safe.
My oldest daughter is choosing to not go to college at this time. She wants to travel the world too.
Her childhood dreams included being a Missionary pilot or mushing dogs in Alaska.
She is saving money. For dreams so much bigger than my own. So different.
11 countries in 11 months is what she aims for with a worldwide missionary adventure.
The problem of course, for me, it that her woman-self that gently smiles down at me, mirrors the eyes and face of my firstborn. My baby. That I have kept near and relatively safe.
If it were up to me, perhaps, they’d never move more than 100 miles away. But, they want to fly.
I asked God why must it be this way? For their parents to squirm in discomfort and fear, even as our lips encourage them to dream big?
When your child is ready for a mission trip:
- These girls are here to do GOD’S work, not fulfill my dreams- Raising them was my privilege, and we have always tried to teach them to live for Him. This should not be a surprise, now, that they want to go
- People need the encouragement of Jesus– and these girls are bright and shining stars
- Giving draws them out of the “me” culture- It isn’t about makeup or selfies or new clothes, but instead about living
- We wouldn’t want them to travel without LOTS of prayer-This’ll surely bring me to my knees. My friends, you, perhaps will join me
- They will go. I will grow- That is what change is so good at, isn’t it? Requiring us to shed our fears and expectations, and see what is around the next corner with courage. Even if our knees are still a bit shaky, we still require change, just as we soak up the sun and drink fresh water
- These kinds of adventures will forever change them- Opening their eyes in gratitude to the privilege we live in. To the needs of others. To the stunning nature of the Creator’s hand as he designed this world
- Many verses in the Bible direct us to go into the world at large- I opened the Bible and read this verse as the pages smoothed down under my fingers. Proverbs 22:2 says, “The rich and poor meet together, the LORD is the maker of all“. I smiled because it isn’t about financial wealth. I am rich in the love of these children of mine. People are poor of spirit and will benefit from knowing these sweet girls. And it is reciprocal. In areas where my own children are weak, the wealth of the nations can teach and inspire them
We will see what happens in the next year.
My oldest worries that I will cry if they leave, or be sad.
Of course, that is true, I told her.
That is natural for a mother that loves her child.
And then I boldly reminded her that this should not be a deciding factor in their life. To never let my love hold her back from doing God’s will. She smiled with relief. Being a parent is not for sissies, is it?
Honestly, though, sometimes that would be easier.
So we’ll continue to discuss the world and maps and people. The mom part of me will interject more regional possibilities because I’m still a woman who wants her children close.
And in the meantime? We’ll check out passports and plan for the future.
And they’ll be ready, for whatever their own lives hold.
Have you been in a situation of having to put your own hopes for your kids aside, as they pursued their own dreams?
P.S. Mission Partners for Christ has a great piece on supporting your kid’s desire to go on a mission trip here
Yes–I can relate! My oldest aspires to a career working in a war-torn nation like Syria or Sudan. She is majoring in International Politics & Policy and wants to get a Masters in conflict resolution. She just submitted an application to do an intensive language study program this summer in a Middle Eastern country so she can gain fluency in Arabic.
We intentionally raised her with a global focus and love that she has one, but I admit that these life goals of hers are hard for me to accept. On one hand, I am immensely proud of her, but on the other hand, it is hard to be excited about her living–permanently–in a dangerous place, and also to realize that I likely will only see her once or twice a year.
My rest and reassurance comes in knowing that she loves the Lord and seeks His will for her life. If she were making these choices on her own, I don’t think my mother’s heart could bear it. But knowing that it is God who is leading her brings me peace and even enthusiasm, as I would never want her to be anyplace other than walking with Him.
Kari! That is some big dreaming, but I am not surprised at all. Hard to believe the little girl I knew is such a world changer already. You guys inspire me…
Love your honesty and obvious love for your child. She sounds like a very strong young woman who wants to serve, that`s so wonderful!
When I was only 18, my best friend and I went on a work exchange to stay with a family in Northern Ireland for three weeks. I had never even been on a plane, and, oh, I decided to do this a month and a half before I got on the plane.
I will always always love my parents for not only letting me go, but supporting me. I learned so much and had experiences I will never forget.
Stefanie, that must have been an amazing experience. Thank you for sharing your story, it encourages me. Was this work exchange program for school credit, or ministry? I’d love to know more about it
I know how it feels, Christa, but you are loving, trusting, and wise and doing the right thing. I love your billeted thoughts. That’s the way to think or rather feel. Your heart and the God within knows!
Both of my girls left for Greece. Even though it gets very painful, especially when the suffer, we had and still have to accept their decisions, help and support as much as we can, and pray for them.
Your girls are thoughtful and loving and want to help. This is the best time to do that, now that they are not tight down with family responsibilities.
Bless these girls God for what they are about to do, and keep their parents …sane!
Thank you for sharing Katina, how hard for both of your girls to be so far away. Does it make you long for your homeland? You are a rock to me…
My daughter decided to attend college 1200 miles away from home 6 weeks before school started. We had planned for her to do online college. I cried for weeks. But I let her know that my crying was because I loved her, and I definitely was behind her choice. She decided to live there after college, and we only see her once or twice a year. But it was the best thing for her. (She’s my only.)
It does get easier as far as the crying, but the missing part is still there.
Wishing you well, and look forward to the mature young ladies you’ll get back if only for visits. The growth is something you’ll notice.
Oh Eva, from one mother’s heart to another, I just felt for you and your daughter. She must have appreciated you standing strong behind her, even if it was painful for you. I live 2600 miles from my own parents and I wish so much to be closer. But in the meantime…
I love this! I definitely have a passion for travel – specifically Israel. <3
Samantha, do you have plans to visit Israel? How could that be anything but lifechanging?
I hated (with a capital H!!) that Stevie chose to go to school in New Orleans when we were in Massachusetts. Leaving her at school was the hardest thing in my parenting life to do. Then she had to go spend a summer in London and as if that was’t enough she is in Australia now!! This week I am looking at college choices for Orrie and her number one pick is in Ireland! What have I done as a mother? Oh Yeah! As my husband has so nicely and lovingly reminded me, we have raised our children to be independent, productive people of society……. Why?????? It breaks my heart for them to leave me but then I remember that if they don’t leave me how will they grow? How will I have grandchildren someday? And last how will we ever know if we did our job as parents? That stops the crying but NEVER the worry. I still have two more to got through the heartache and love with but I know I will get through it somehow…..
Oh that Stephen! That is exactly the kind of stuff my hubs says. Even though he is right, they are right. I am proud of the job you’ve done. Stevie…Orrie…and soon (dare I say it) we’ll be meeting, finally, for empty next trips mid country? 🙂
My boys are still at home, but long ago I was that child who wanted to follow Jesus wherever he led, which ultimately took me to Russia for 8 years. I was 28 by then, and still single, and I’m sure it wasn’t the dream that my parents had for their daughter. We didn’t even have email the first year, just snail mail, no cell phones, and phone calls had to be ordered through a Russian operator! It had to have been so hard for them, but so good for me. I understood the world in a whole new way, lost a good bit of my American arrogance, came to the end of my own resources, and learned to lean on Jesus for everything. I surrendered all my hopes and dreams to him during that first year, and then he gave back to me more than I ever could have asked for by bringing my husband and I together. I really learned that the safest place to be is in the center of God’s will, and it is always the place of greatest blessing. Also, if your are hoping to find a person who is like-minded and shares your heart, you’d best be out living the values God has put in you. I pray that God will supply the grace for us to entrust our kids to his care when the time comes.
Susan! What wise and precious advice. Thank you for sharing your personal story, I am strengthened by it
You and Art have done a remarkable job continually pointing your girls to Jesus and the world around them. Just like their parents, both have hearts to serve others. It’s inspiring.
I’m praying for these long 11 months.