Why am I saying yes to everything? Avoid overwhelm with 5 questions

 

Why am I saying yes to everything? Avoid overwhelm with 5 questions

She took a deep sigh and rubbed her hair back from her face. Her eyes showed her fatigue and her smile felt a bit forced, “I just can’t catch my breath. Everything is coming at me and I feel like I am doing ‘good’ things, but if that is the case, why is it so hard? I am so tired…”.

Girlfriends, I get tired too.  I long for more margin in my world. Just like you.

There is no shortage of opportunities for giving of our time, energy and resources. But there is a disturbing lack of encouragement to include margin into our lives.

People make compelling arguments for why “this” opportunity is a perfect match for us.

We are pulled and guilted into and begged into spending our time working on things we don’t want to do.

On the flip side, we push and over-engage and fill in the gaps of the most vital of breathing space…sometimes, we do that all on our own.

 

 

Should we say yes to every opportunity? (Hint: no)

There is nothing inherently wrong with busy. However, let’s take a step back and examine the why behind our yes!

Because it can be really, really hard to say no. Trust me, I have had my fair share of over commitments, wrong commitments, and truly wonderful commitments.

Here is what I have learned…leaving room, the precious and sacred gap of time called margin, allows us to choose a life that we delight in.

Are we doing things because it is a passion of ours, something we are gifted at-or, wasting our gifts doing things we should be letting go of?

 Nothing is wrong with being busy, let’s just be busy doing the best things. 

Not frittering our time away on things that aren’t right for us. Seasons change and sometimes we need to shake things up a bit…

 

 

Why do I say yes to things if I want to say NO?

• We feel guilty (who will do it, if not me?)
• We feel possessive (but  I built this up, no one can do this the right way)
• We are attached (this is where part of my identity is tied into)
• We feel lost (if not this, then where DO I belong?)
• We need the kudos ( well done, good job)

A hard truth is, we can’t battle if we are busy. The cushion of time and space that allows us to breathe? That is where peace will be found. Victory in our battles can sometimes be found in the surrender.

Generally, though, it doesn’t drop itself on our doorstep. We have to seek peace and pursue it.

‘You have done enough for today…you can rest now” has been one of my favorite quotes for many years. Maybe we just need constant reminders?

I am rooting FOR you, not judging your choices. I have, am, will be there again. And then, I’ll need to swallow a big ol’ dose of reality check and realign my priorities too.

 

 

When we find that quiet space? It is a superb place to shore up for the battle for tranquility.

God speaks to us so sweetly when we stop long enough to hear him.

You’ll never regret having margin. It pours into our marriage, our mothering, our friendships, our creativity, our work…everything benefits from breathing room.

 

How can I stop saying yes to everything without feeling guilty?

Here is your survival list of 5 questions to use as a guideline:

1. Does this activity directly benefit my family?
2. Am I passionate about the outcome of this commitment?
3. Is someone else qualified to step into this role?
4. Am I acting out of guilt or out of desire?
5. Is this a good thing, but at the wrong time?

We can live a busy life (as in full and rich) without living a chaotic life (out of control, overcommitted).

Time is so precious, we only get one shot. Let’s make sure those moments are ones that personally matter to us.

Is it wrong to step into a temporary role, or to help out someone even when it isn’t convenient? I don’t think so.

I am definitely not promoting a selfish existence or an “all about me” mindset.

As we ask ourselves the questions above, we can direct them to our regular schedules. The stuff that suddenly makes us tear another page off the calendar.

Do we want to look at that page with frustration, or satisfaction?

 

 

Saying yes to everything steals peace

Remember– just like nature changes, so do the seasons of our life. Something that felt so right a year or two ago, might not be a good fit anymore. For a million reasons.

Change is a good and necessary thing to keep our life from getting stagnant.

Press on my friends, press into the best, and let go of the good. I’ll be walking this road right along with you.

Pursuing peace.

Would you like to grab a free printable of the 5 questions? Just click here to download a copy. You might enjoy this post over at FollowHisFootprints.org  by Jill Hoven too!

 

Resources to stop saying yes 

• The Art of Rest: Faith To Hit Pause In A World That Never Stops
• Peace with the Psalms: 40 Readings to Relax Your Mind and Calm Your Heart
• Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives   SO good
• Seeking Slow: Reclaim Moments of Calm in Your Day
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